Bus

Ned to another, in thick Scottish accent: My pal's not well. His brain doesn't float around. It's stuck to his head, like.

Bus
Edinburgh
Scotland

Overheard by: Still wondering what it could be

Bus driver: Push back, push back! Don't be afraid! Hold somebody's hand, tell 'em you love 'em!

57 Bus
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Smallison

Teenage girl on bus: Oh, fuck. What is this world coming to? It's like it gets worse and worse.
Teenage guy sitting beside her: What? No. This wouldn't be the worst thing that's happened. Bad things happen all the time. Think about worse things going on right now, or that have been going on, for like, forever.
Teenage girl: It feels like it's getting worse, though.
Teenage guy: But it's not, though.
Teenage girl: Yeah, but, these bad things keep happening. It always keeps happening.
(pause)
Teenage guy: I wanna go see Watchmen.
Teenage girl: Don't, I heard it's not that good.

Bus
Ontario
Canadia

High school girls: Then Mr Jones* said “if anybody knows an easy-23-year old, let me know.” and Jeff* told him “dude if I knew an easy 23-year-old, I wouldn't tell you.”

Bus
Vancouver
Canadia

Lady on the bus: So I was 17 and pregnant! He was a Nazi extremist, but a very nice man. Very charming. I was rebellous (sic) as a teenager. Very rebellous. But now I'm old-fashioned, and I've got lots of morals.

Wellington
New Zealand

Overheard by: dominic

Passenger #1: I broke up with my woman because she spends all her money on crack…she crazy.
Passenger #2: Ah, that's no good.
Passenger #1: I know…and pretty soon she gonna run out of money.
Passenger #2: Really?
Passenger #1: Yeah, I told her too many times ain't nobody gonna want a senior citizen as a prostitute.
Passenger #2: Damn.

Greyhound Bus
Montana

Boy to hot girl: Hey, how's it going?
Hot girl, in French: I'm speaking in French so that you won't know what I'm talking about and will think that I can't speak English.
Boy, in French: Oh really? I know French too!

Bus
New York City, New York

Guy #1: I know how to get your kid back, easy! I'll just put a bag of crack in your mom's car and call the cops and say “there is this old lady with a bag of crack and a baby in her car!” (laughs)
Guy #2: That would be so cool.

Bus Stop
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Creepster in poncho: I like your hair.
Hot chick: Oh, thanks.
Creepster in poncho: It smells like my grandma.

Bus stop
Gainesville, Florida

Four-year-old boy, wielding plastic sword and shield: It's a knife!
Boy's mother: No, it's a sword.
Four-year-old boy: No! It's a knife!
Boy's mother: No, no, no, Danny. Knives are for cutting. Swords are for vanquishing.

99 B-Line
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Frodo Baggins