Bus

Genius #1, about Neil Armstrong: Wait, didn’t he win the Tour de– Oh, no, that was Lance Armstrong.
Genius #2: Wait, there are two of them? I thought the astronaut guy turned into the bike guy!

Rutgers bus
New Jersey

Girl on phone: I mean, do you know how strange it feels to climb out of the bed of the guy you just hooked up with and then climb into bed with your brother?

Chinatown bus from New York City to Baltimore, Maryland

Girl #1: What are those dots underneath the sign?
Girl #2: You're so dumb, haven't you heard of language for the deaf?

Bus Station
Tønsberg
Norway

Overheard by: Håkon

Woman on cell: She'd look sharp if she had some teeth. She's just got to go get those teeth, though!

33 Bus
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alyson

Creepy guy with shriveled arm: Nah, I haven't used in a couple months. But if I wanted to start again, I got a savings account now.

5 Bus
San Diego, California

Overheard by: mhd

Man on cell in very quiet bus: Look. I took the pills, I put the powder in my pants, I don't have cooties anymore!

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Kat from Tacoma

Girls, singing: My milkshake bringeth the lads in the square, prithee, 'tis better than yours, 'tis better than yours, I could teach thee, but I'd levy a fee.

4 Bus
Victoria
Canadia

Overheard by: Fair maiden Juliet

Girl on cell: I said “I love you” like three years ago. Why? When was the last time you said it?
[pause]Girl on cell, shocked: Ew! To who, you whorebag?!
[pause]Girl on cell, incredulous: You say “I love you” to your mom?

200 Bus
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: likewhoa

Girl on bus: So, I’m like: “Bitch, you can’t question my big fork usage!”

99 Bus
Vancouver
Canadia

Young dude in car to children getting off school bus: You are the future!

Westport, Connecticut

Overheard by: Elisabeth