Bus

Girl on bus: I've always wanted to ride a motorcycle.
Guy on bus: Yeah, I don't have one but I'm pretty good at driving them.
Girl: Oh, I don't want to own one, just ride one.
Guy: Yeah, that's how I feel about dragons.

Auburn, Alabama

Hispanic teenager with baby, yelling out of bus doors: You're an icy bitch!
Chinese woman, muttering loudly: Fucking immigrants.

Bus Station
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: another immigrant

Bus driver: Folks, this just in from the weather service, I just thought I'd pass it along to you all. Don't let all these clouds fool you, there's a high heat warning in effect for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, gumdrops, and…snow cones, so if you have any of those items, you'd better keep them inside. That's all.

Bus #17
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: The Redhead

Young boy: Where's daddy?
Mother: He's at home. Hypothetically he's starting dinner right now.
Slightly older boy: That's unlikely.

Bus
Bozeman, Montana

Driver to people leaving the bus at the university: Buh-bye, have a great day, kids. Enjoy your lessons…bye now. Do your homework. Work hard on your exams so you don't become a bus driver! Bye-bye, everyone!

56 Bus
Leeds
England

40-something suit: Jesus Christ could not possibly make Seattle more depressing.

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Carefull listener

Girl on cell: Yes, I have purple underwear.

Metro Bus
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Under where?