Class

Statistics professor: So let's say we ask a random question, such as “have you had unprotected sex with a prostitute in the last week?”.
(class laughs)
Statistics professor: Most people would answer “no.” Including myself. I'll leave it up to you to decide if that's the truth or not.

University of Guelph
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Danielle

Annoying professor, about optical illusion on slide: What do you all see here?
Student: A moron with tenure.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Professor: Well, they had Nazis, but those aren’t exactly lighting fixtures.

Theatre Class, SUNY
Geneseo, New York

Overheard by: Jeni

Distraught sorority girl: My mom won’t accept my friend request on Facebook!
Sisters, collectively: Awwwwww.

Social Psychology Class
Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants

Professor: Now, if we did eliminate illness and achieved immortality there might be serious religious repercussions. Can anyone think of how this might affect religious beliefs?
Bimbette: Well, like, if Hitler were immortal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a million years and then, like, chill out for eternity, you know?

Eternal Youth and Immortality Seminar
Lafayette College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead because he SHOT himself

Skinny white kid: Who doesn’t love black chicks with fat asses?

Political Theory class, University of Southern California
Los Angeles, California

Accounting professor: You should drink champagne and go swimming — it’s lots of fun. Once you’re tipsy and get three to four feet underwater you have no idea which way’s up.

http://overheardatkmc.blogspot.com/2006/11/what-accountant-does-for-fun.html

British theater professor: Well, you know Hong Kong used to belong to Britain. (angrily) Everything used to belong to Britain.

Theater Class, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Chanimal

Professor: Carbon-14 is an unstable marriage. He’s putting cocaine up his nose while she’s working hard. It can’t last, you know. That’s expensive.

Berea College
Kentucky

Professor: You can't look at a record and hear the music…unless you're really baked.

Decatur, Illinois