You Can Cry Afterwards and He Can't Tell

Girl: It's not “oh, I got laid underwater.” It's that I got to know the person and got close to them before I went underwater.

Psychology Class
University of Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on September 24, 2020
Class, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Pennsylvania, Sex, Weirdness, Words

…A Metaphor I Would Know Nothing About

Professor: The Government was spending money like a drunken sailor in a Tijuana whorehouse.

Macroeconomics Class
University of California

Overheard by: Econometrically Bored

Posted on August 13, 2020
California, Class, Compare and contrast, Default, Money, Politics, Teachers, Words

Isn't Saying “We're Texas Lutherans” Sufficient?

Professor: Everyone who thinks it's this answer jump up and say, “I'm brilliant!”
(nobody moves)
Professor: Everyone who thinks it's this answer jump up and say, “I'm not so brilliant, yet.”
(nobody moves)
Professor: Everyone else jump up and say, “I'm inhibited!”

Organic Chemistry Class
Texas Lutheran University

Overheard by: Kimberly

Posted on August 10, 2020
Class, Offers and requests, Teachers, Texas, Weirdness

Unlike My Grading Scale

Professor: The guillotine was humane. It was just humane many thousands of times.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Posted on June 22, 2020
Class, Default, History, Murder, Ohio, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

The Large Group Ones Are a Logistical Nightmare

Peer-taught health class leader: Small group condom practice! Wooot!

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Posted on June 6, 2020
Class, Condoms, Default, Education, Oregon, Students, Words

A+

Male art student in response to female art student’s sculpture: It’s really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.

Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania

Posted on May 3, 2020
Class, Compare and contrast, Etiquette, Euphemisms, Feelings, Guys, Hipsters, Pennsylvania, Students, Vagina, Words

Now That Metal Rods Are the Latest Fashion Craze

Teacher: Okay, now what you do think is the chance of being killed by being struck by lightning?
Bimbette: Ummmm… probably like, one in two.
Class: (silence)
Teacher: One in two?
Bimbette: Wait! Make that one in ten.

Classroom
Sydney
Australia

Posted on April 10, 2020
Australia, Bimbettes, Class, Education, Murder, Questions, Science, Sensory experiences, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

Anybody Have Any Bread?

(student coughs violently into hands, spewing fake blood)
Lit professor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Student: (coughing up more blood) Can I go to the bathroom?
Lit professor: Oh my god, go, go!
(student leaves)
Lit professor: (realizing it’s April 1st) Haha… His consumption smells like raspberries.

Colorado University, Boulder

Overheard by: In the back of the classroom

Posted on March 21, 2020
Class, Colorado, Default, Food, Health & Hygiene, Holidays, Maladies, Offers and requests, Questions, Sensory experiences, Students, Teachers

Dude, Just Make an Audio-Visual Geek Your Friend

Music history professor, putting a CD in the player: And now we pray to the god of CDs. It’s not good to be a teacher with CDs. They are very stupid things. [Pause.] …It’s not good to be a teacher, perhaps that’s what it is.

Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on March 14, 2020
Class, Default, Education, Feelings, God, Gripes, Jobs & Careers, Maryland, Music, Teachers, Technology

To Be Fair, I Only Saw Her a Little.

Psych professor: I dated a girl who was 4'10'' once, but she always insisted that that was the legal cutoff height for little people.
Psych student: Actually, I think 4'11'' is the cutoff.
Psych professor: What? I dated a midget?

Bennington, Vermont

Overheard by: laughing in class

Posted on February 19, 2020
Class, Default, Questions, Students, Teachers, Vermont, Weirdness, Words