Prof: Do you think that kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach was wrong?
Student: Ummmm… I’m not certain.
Prof: Do you think that what he did was a crime?
[Student pauses for nearly 30 seconds.]Student #2: Dude, he kicked a baby.
Seton Hall Law
Newark, New Jersey
Female student #1: You sure you want me to feed you this banana?
Female student #2: Get on with it, will you?
Female student #1: This thing's pretty big. I wouldn't want to choke you.
Female student #2: Don't worry about it. I've had much bigger.
Youngish professor: (raises eyebrows)
Female student #2: You think I'm kidding? I've had some pretty big ones. Think you can give me a bigger one?
Youngish professor (blushing): Um, possibly.
Female student #2: Well, I'd like to see that.
Female student #3: Um, are we still talking about bananas here?
Classroom
UCSC, California
Professor talking about the Canterbury tales: So the friar has this gold pin he wears, he wears it under his neck to keep his hood closed . . . It's bling!
(class laughs)
Professor: I never want to hear anyone say I'm not up on the times. They had this article in Time magazine, it was an interview with a rapper, the guy's name was “fifty cents.”
(class laughs)
Professor: But I'm cool, and I know that it's not “fifty cents,” it's “fiddy.”
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Professor: Ever wonder why pink is considered a girl color?
Student: Because vaginas are pink.
UC
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
Professor: All right. I'm going to start giving the papers back in reverse alphabetical order from last time.
Whispering girl: Damn it! I hate my life.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Human evolution professor, showing a slide of a monkey: Just look at those testicles! They're huge and pink…just…they're all in your face!
Anthropology Classroom, Kent State University
Ohio
Overheard by: Laureen
Jolly literature professor: All of this talk of salacious babysitters and the indiscriminate disposing of corpses makes me feel like I’m back in Jersey again.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Biology professor, on earthworm digestive systems: And I’m including this part because I enjoy saying words like “anus”.
South Dakota State University
South Dakota
Girl #1 (super cheerfully): I learned that from Spiderman 3!
Girl #2: Gah! (quietly, while walking away) Why don't you just shut up?
Girl #1 (whining under her breath): Why don't you listen to meeeeeeee?
Pottery Class, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
