Student: That’s terrible!
Professor: I agree, I’m a horrible person.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Jolly literature professor: All of this talk of salacious babysitters and the indiscriminate disposing of corpses makes me feel like I’m back in Jersey again.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Biology professor, on earthworm digestive systems: And I’m including this part because I enjoy saying words like “anus”.
South Dakota State University
South Dakota
Girl #1 (super cheerfully): I learned that from Spiderman 3!
Girl #2: Gah! (quietly, while walking away) Why don't you just shut up?
Girl #1 (whining under her breath): Why don't you listen to meeeeeeee?
Pottery Class, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Professor, trying to motivate class: Sometimes, you just need to…to look up, and…and smell…the big picture.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Professor, whispering: What is god doing with female breasts?
Oglethorpe University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Literature professor, after reciting Hamlet's “To be or not to be…”: So now you all need a Valium…count on me to ruin your day.
English Lit Class
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Rosencrantz
Teacher: I got a question for you guys… If you're flying at 50,000 feet and the left rear tire falls off your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse and why?
Students: What the fuck?
Teacher: Clearly, the answer is 7, cause ice cream has no bones!
Student #1: Why do they keep giving us teachers on crack?
Student #2: I dunno, man. I dunno…
Inside Freshman Classroom
El Paso, Texas
English professor: I know what you're thinking. Two pages! I can write that with half a bottle of whiskey in me and my hands tied behind my back!
Cardinal Stritch University
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Cheerful student: Cheer up! It's going to be okay.
Glum professor: Says who? You?
Cheerful student: Yes!
Glum professor: But you don't know anything.
Cheerful student: True!
UC Berkeley School of Journalism
California
