Guy with small crowd around him (completely straight-faced): So we're doing everything we can to ensure that there'll be as little incest going on as possible. (crowd nods)
Hofstra University, New York
Guy with small crowd around him (completely straight-faced): So we're doing everything we can to ensure that there'll be as little incest going on as possible. (crowd nods)
Hofstra University, New York
Woman to friend: I was just wondering how I was going to get my panties on in traffic.
University of Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Tatiana
Guy: I mean, she was a one on a binary scale, but…
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lulia
Frat boy to others: So you masturbate in a cup, right? Then you freeze it, and in the morning mix it with your protein powder.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: red
Dude #1: What are you doing this weekend?
Dude #2: Well, I know I'm going to see at least one more naked person this weekend than usual.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Biology professor: And don't play frisbee with a beluga whale. They've been known to masturbate with them.
University of Mississippi
Hipster on cell: And then she started talking about trouser gravy…
Mesa College
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Tish
Sociology professor: It takes a sociologist to take the fun out of jugs–but it's a living.
University of Montevallo
Montevallo, Alabama
Girl #1: Oh my gosh, it was so awkward. I was so tired yesterday, I walked in my room and my roommate was totally having sex with a random guy.
Girl #2: Oh god, what did you do?
Girl #1: What do you mean? I took a nap.
American University
Washington, DC
Soccer girl: God, it's like Aristotle took a shit on you!
Friend: I know, right?
Memorial University
St. John's, Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
