Wide-eyed girl #1 exiting class: Did he just–?
Wide-eyed girl #2: –Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #1: But wha–?
Wide-eyed girl #2: –I feel dirty.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Yeah.
Wide-eyed girl #2: Do you… Uh, wait.
Wide-eyed girl #1: Did we just get mind-fucked?
Wide-eyed girl #2: I think so.
Arkansas State University
Jonesboro, Arkansas
Overheard by: What the hell just happened?!
Sorostitute: Oh my god! Your baby is so cute! How old is she?
Single mom: One.
Sorostitute: Oh my god. She is so precious! I love children, I keep the nursery in church and I used to babysit, like, all the time. Do you think I could…
Single mom: No.
Sorostitute: Hold her?
Single mom: No.
University of Alabama
Professor: Okay, so everyone get your papers out. If you don't have your papers here with you then you can just leave. (class mumbles in disgust) That's right, take the walk of shame. Like you just got laid at a frat party, take the walk of shame.
Miami University
Florida
Professor: Temperature is an example of an invented reality. Temperature doesn’t exist. It’s all in our minds. It’s either hot or cold out, but what are “degrees” really? Nothing!
Student: Actually, temperature is scientifically calculated by… (goes on to give long, technical explanation)
Professor: Really? I’m going to have to go look that up on Wikipedia. I get all of my information from Wikipedia.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Glad you’re teaching us then…
Female English professor on the first day of class: So tell me as much about me as you can by my appearance. What kind of person do you think I am?
Student: I think you were probably a wild teenager. You've got a tattoo and a tongue piercing.
Female English professor (chuckling): I've got more tattoos and piercings than you care to know about.
Community College
Elizabethtown, Kentucky
Overheard by: Chelsea
College professor: Are you mocking my forest? My forest could kick your forest's butt any day. Bring your forest on!
(later)
College professor: I can see my forest from the window in my office. Do you have an office you can see your forest from?
Keuka College
New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Student #1: Hey, how was your Easter?
Student #2: I'm Jewish, but thank you!
Paul Smith's College
New York
Overheard by: agnostic librarian
College chick #1: Where are we going?
College chick #2: I think he just draws stuff and has freaky sex…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Black professor to black student: So I hold you to a different standard than the white students. (to white student) Except for you. Because you're from Michigan.
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
Dignified middle-aged foreigner to three students: Excuse me, can you tell me — where is the pussy?
Grad student #1, while other two laugh: Pusey Library? You want Level D, then make a right and go down the hall.
Dignified middle-aged foreigner: Thank you. How late is the pussy open?
Grad student #1, losing his composure: Um, yeah. You know, man, that really depends on you. If you’re good, it’s open all night.
Widener Library, Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: A.J.S.
