Colleges & Universities

Engineer #1: We’re playing my little ponies?!
Engineer #2: Oh, god.
Engineer #1: Dude, we’re gonna fucking kill them! [Laughs maniacally].

Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois

Ditzy college girl, interrupting class: Do you live in Penn Yan?
Professor: No, I live on Bluff Point.
Ditzy college girl: Oh… Did you know that Sarassin's delivers?
Professor: No, I didn't, but do you mind if I get back to my lecture?

Keuka College
New York

Overheard by: Rachel Bz.

Older woman: My first computer was a Commodore 64!
Younger woman: A what? That sounds like a sex toy.

Western Michigan University
Kalamazoo, Michigan

Med student #1: You broke up with her because of a facial expression?
Med student #2: Man, if you saw her “o” face you'd would've done the same. (makes contorted face with mouth wide open)
Med student #1: Oh, hell yeah… that's some ugly shit to come to.
Med student #2: I would have never been able to get off… and all those sounds!
Med student #1: Sexy?
Med student #2: Jungle. Primal.

School of Medicine
University of Maryland

Overheard by: Mykl

College boy #1: If I were a T-Rex I would fuck shit up.
College boy #2: Yeah, but good luck masturbating.

Hendrix College
Arkansas

Overheard by: College Girl Walking By

Guy on cell: Yeah, well, that sucks that you don't have any friends, but now at least it's legal for you to drink your troubles away!

University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: Anne

Male student to another, seriously: So you just came in your pants?

Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
Troy, New York

Angry girl: He. Gave. Me. Go-no-rrhe-a!
Calm girl: So? (pause) You're not getting back with him?

Pierpont Dorm
UMass, Amherst

Professor: I invent things too! My great invention is this toast, and you make it in a toaster, and then you stick it in the freezer. And, like, when you want toast, you just put it back in the toaster…
Students: (confused silence)
Professor: Man, no one understands me! (stomps out)

SUNY
Geneseo, New York

Overheard by: Jeni

Science professor: This is plastic deformation, like what happens to those baby-seal catchers. You know, the plastic that comes around soda cans? Sometimes you catch penguins too, but those are much harder–they run really fast, and they have no regard for their bodies. They just throw themselves off cliffs.

Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts