Professor: Sponges can regenerate from the broken pieces. If you put a sponge through a mincing machine, you just get lots of little sponges. If you put a cow through, you get mince. If you put a person through, you get arrested.
Rhodes University
South Africa
Overheard by: Amused Zoology Student
Professor, on last day of lecture: You are all pregnant.
(students awkwardly looking around and extremely uncomfortable)
Professor: …with your futures.
University of Wisconsin
Dude, with narrowed eyes: I know your kind. I bet you're sticky.
High School
Englewood, Colorado
Girl #1: We have to deal with it for nine months!
Girl #2: At least we get to be bitches for no reason.
Girl #1: Yeah, my boyfriend's basically a slave.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: …I knew it!
Girl #1: What is meant to be will always find its way.
Girl #2: Oh, don't give me that crap right now!
UCLA, California
Overheard by: Mallory
Girl: Oh, I'm doing Zumba today at five.
Guy: What's Zumba? Can I do Zumba?
Girl: Well…you can.
Guy: I can?
Girl: Yeah, it's not like there's a sign that says “No penises allowed.”
Guy: But “no penises” is implied.
University of Miami
Florida
Dude: And so you go to sleep all relaxed, but when you wake up, they cut off part of your penis!
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Girl: No, no! Vicodin is bad! Vicodin is bad, Percoset is good!
http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/2006/08/just-say-maybe.html/
Girl #1: You’ve written “2007” instead of “2008” on your exam sheet.
Girl #2: Yeah, so? It was a better time, ok?
University of Guelph
Canadia
Older man walking: I know we live in a mountainous region, but if we lived in a really mountainous region I’d wear pants.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I’d wear pants too…
