Ranting professor: Say you're on a date, and your waiter places a bag of saltine crackers in front of you.
(students are puzzled)
Ranting professor: So, you're happy to have these crackers. But your date says to you: “Don't you see the filet mignon or the lobster?” But you can't see them! So you eat the crackers, and then you die. Then I go to your funeral.
Moorpark College
Moorpark, California
Overheard by: Amanduh
Frat boy: You know we measured his dick and it was like seven inches flaccid.
University of Virginia
Professor, noticing student's t-shirt: What is that?
Student: A gorilla and a shark high fiving in front of an explosion.
Professor: I'm going to work that into discussion somehow.
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Girl to friends, very confidently: And I will be that horse!
Memorial University
St. John's, Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Math professor: Coming home drunk at 3 am and grading calculus papers is a great way to learn calculus.
Southern Methodist University
Dallas, Texas
Girl #1: Why the heck is her name “Brezelle”?
Girl #2: Well, she's African.
Girl #1: Oh.
Temple University, Pennsylvania
Girl #1: What does he look like?
Girl #2: The same way he looked when he was Catherine.
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Guy #1, during coldest day of the year: Chicks in long johns are totally hot, though… Right?
Guy #2: Ummm. Really?
Guy #1: Yeah! I mean… Minnesota lingerie!
St. Olaf College
Northfield, Minnesota
Overheard by: Concerned for our sexuality
Extremely diabetic professor: Now that I have to get another artificial leg, I can be as tall as I want!
Math Department
University of Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Suzz
