Girl: Dude, she digs you, why don't you ask her out?
Guy: She's fat.
Girl: You are so fucking pretentious and shallow.
Guy: I'm okay with that. It means I only fuck hotties.
Girl: We fucked, does that mean you think I'm a hottie?
Guy: No, that just means I was drunk and you were willing.
Girl: Why am I friends with you?
Guy: I have no idea.
Denver, Colorado
Teenage girl walking with friends: Oh, she's pretty, I can be friends with her.
Denver, Colorado
Guy at party: What are you studying in that class?
Psychology grad student: We're learning how to administer and score intelligence tests.
Girl at party: I don't believe in intelligence.
Fort Collins, Colorado
Girl on phone: I was like, “you're already drunk. You're using the death of Osama Bin Laden to get drunk at 10 in the morning.”
University of Denver, Colorado
40-something woman on cell: I am going to live to be one hundred, just to be a bitch.
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: Jpov
Girl on phone: But I don't have a mustache…
Colorado State University
Teacher to class: You never know what you're going to find stuffed in the head of a mummified crocodile.
Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
Sobbing man with black eye, on cell: I love you so much, baby. I'm gonna squeeze you so hard you're gonna shit. (continues weeping)
Coloradp Springs, Colorado
