Teacher: No one liked middle school. Everyone hates middle school. I'd rather starve to death than teach middle school. I'd rather starve my baby to death than teach middle school.
Student: I liked middle school.
Teacher: Freak!
Portland, Maine
Teacher: No one liked middle school. Everyone hates middle school. I'd rather starve to death than teach middle school. I'd rather starve my baby to death than teach middle school.
Student: I liked middle school.
Teacher: Freak!
Portland, Maine
Husband, while driving: Wow, look at those cool clouds over there.
Wife: Where? Oh, those, the one that looks like it is going up?
Husband: Yeah.
Wife, after long pause: That one looks like a uterus.
Michigan
Overheard by: T
Woman, waiting for Two Gentlemen of Verona to begin: This is one of Shakespeare's comedies, right?
Friend: Yes.
Woman: Someone will cross-dress, there will be mistaken identity, and love triangles, and everything will turn out well. All Shakespeare comedies have the same plot.
Friend: Yeah, pretty much.
Woman: They're all just episodes of Three's Company.
Boulder, Colorado
Professor: And that's why caffeine is my drug of choice. (awkward pause) So who here had some caffeine today?
University of Rochester, New York
Gray-haired lady: It smells like tacos in here.
Older blue-haired lady, gesturing toward Latino family several feet away: I think it's those people over there.
Metropolitan Airport
Detroit, Michigan
Dominatrix: The best s&m tool of all time is the Williams Sonoma Spoontula.
Good Vibrations
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Older woman with no inside voice, inside a bus on rush hour: I want a diamond about as big as a horse turd.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/it_will_be_a_marriage_built_on.html
Overheard by: bleep
Middle-aged man on bus: I made the mistake of letting my grandkids come over Saturday. They are nothing but little virus factories!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/08/offspring.html
Overheard by: micah
Husband, reading aloud from newspaper: Honey, did you know that women use an average of 30,000 words a day, while men only use 15,000?
Wife: That's probably because we have repeat everything to men.
Husband: What?
Australia
Overheard by: Mikyla
Hipster, looking at Dr J mural: Man, he must have a three-foot dick. I bet his dick is as big as Allen Iverson.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/in-other-news-allen-iverson-shrunk.html
Overheard by: anonymous
