Compare and contrast

Girl #1: It's like putting a band-aid on when you need stitches.
Girl #2: Oh, thats a good one.
Girl #3: Yeah, and then the band-aid falls off and it gets infected.
Girl #1: And then you get gangrene and you leg falls off.
Girl #3: Only we could be trying to be supportive and morbid at the same time…

Belleville, Pennsylvania

English teacher: Going around is a sheet with some 1920s slang, so you can get used to it before we start reading The Great Gatsby. Okay, so, everyone knows what a flapper is…?
Tenth grader: Oh, like a transvestite, right?

Tinton Falls, New Jersey

Lecturer, about advertisements: A hug that lasts all day? What is that, like bondage?

Urbana, Illinois

Guy: I've heard that old people have the stickiest fingers.

Arvada, Colorado

30-something black man on cell: Yeah. Put ketchup on it, it tastes like spaghetti!

All Star Cafe
Berkeley, California

25-year-old man: Hey, Bella, I got you funyuns!
Five-year-old girl: Ewwww!
25-year-old man: Well, fuck you then.

Lake View Terrace, California

Overheard by: James Jameson

Young ice cream customer: I'm going to get a large sundae.
Competitive young ice cream customer: Oh, yeah? I once had a sundae that was so big it was…it was… (thinks about it) up to the top of Jesus!

Dairy Queen
Victoria
Canadia

Overheard by: bemused in Dairy Queen

Teacher to students: And then you thought we were going to an imaginary place…but it was Louisiana!

High School English Class
Sweden

Overheard by: It was real?

Woman: You should shop at Lane Bryant!
Girl: Mom, that's a fat girls store!
Woman: I shopped there when I was 17, and you're much fatter that I was!

Hendersonville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Tanner

Sober teen: The mall is, like, all about clothes now.

Towson, Maryland

Overheard by: Sven Johnson