Compare and contrast

Chick: I’m like Ash from Pokémon, only with Jesus!

Denver, Colorado

Professor: It’s like when you walk into a bathroom with a corpse in the tub and go, ‘Wow, just look at that tile pattern!’

The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington

Guy #1: It doesn’t matter if you can pee longer than I can, because I can still drink more than you, so I win overall.
Guy #2: No, peeing longer means I can have sex longer than you.
Guy #1: … Dude, you’re a virgin.

Restroom, Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: What the…

18-year-old guy #1: Dude, I hate when she sticks her fingers in my ears.
18-year-old guy #2: Wait, so that doesn't turn you on?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/463269058/shes-just-trying-to-communicate.html

Overheard by: luke.

Girl, looking at books: I love the library! It's like natural Adderall.

Scranton, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: too old for this

Blonde teen: Please don't pull my finger!
Brunette teen: Oh, gosh. Is this like that time in gym class?

Homecoming Football Game
Minnesota

Professor: Flaccid. That's such a great word. Flaccid.

USC
Australia

Teen to friend: He's always making fun of the holocaust.

Cincinnati, Ohio

[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?

Great Escape Theater
Illinois

Overheard by: The Surly Usher

Twelve-year-old boy to friend: I didn’t know bookstores had porn!
Friend: Dude, that’s Cosmo!

Barnes & Noble
Illinois