But It Makes a Cool Gurgling Sound

10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, if you smoke it that way you can still get cancer. But if you smoke it through a water bong… yeah, about the same.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Lauren

Posted on April 2, 2020
Advice, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Kids, Maladies, Smoking

As His Sancho Panza

Girl: You should meet his dad! He's like Don Quixote in a Kafka story.
Guy: Who's father they were talking about…you know…but with a tv.

Sabiá bar, Vila Madalena
Sao Paulo, Brazil

Posted on March 23, 2020
Advice, Bars & Clubs, Books, Brazil, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Technology

How My Mom Forces Me to Interact with Attractive Men

Girl #1: I thought you were clumsy because you had fallen in love.
Girl #2: I was clumsy because somebody pushed me.

New Jersey

Posted on March 22, 2020
Compare and contrast, New Jersey, Relationships

…Whatever Your Name Is.

Very pregnant woman: I don't want to have this baby. I don't want to have to work all of this weight off.
Man: I think I should keep you pregnant. This is the least worst you've ever looked.

Hasting's
Wichita Falls, Texas

Overheard by: mikeface

Posted on March 18, 2020
Beauty, Birthing, Compare and contrast, Diet & weight, Guys, Preggers, Texas, Wishes

And a Tranquilizer Rifle

Guy on cell: Don't expect it to be as great as the last time we were in Malibu, though. Unless you bring your funny hat.

The Coffee Bean
Los Angeles, California

Posted on March 15, 2020
California, Clothes, Clothing, Compare and contrast, Guys, On the phone

“My Hatred for Teaching Is Vast As the Ocean”

English teacher: Can anyone tell me what the definition of a simile is?
Student: Like your ass…
English teacher: What did you say!?
Student: Like or as?
English teacher: Oh…yeah.

St. Joesph High School
New Jersey

Overheard by: Davel

Posted on March 14, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Insults, New Jersey, Questions, Students, Teachers, Words

This Reads Like a Seinfeld Line

College student: Everything in life can be related back to Seinfeld. It's like the bible, except it won't fail you.

Hookah Bar
Washington, DC

Posted on March 11, 2020
Bars & Clubs, Christianity, Compare and contrast, Default, Students, TV shows, Washington, DC

I Can Only Answer Questions Like “Tubey or Not Tubey?”

Young girl: So what do you think I should do?
Girlfriend: I spent most of last night eating cheese out of a tube. I really don't think I'm the best person to ask for advice about your love life.

London
England

Overheard by: LondonCoffee

Posted on March 10, 2020
Compare and contrast, England, Feelings, Food, Girls, Questions

Keep Your Friends Close and Your Motherfuckers Even Closer

20-something guy to another: He found Jesus. In the two months I hadn't seen him, the motherfucker found Jesus.

Swinger's
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Kristin

Posted on March 3, 2020
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Insults, Jesus, Words

I Am One With My Car

Young woman to girl, after car accident: Do you have car insurance or anything?
College girl: Blue Cross Blue Shield.
Young woman: … Uhh… That would be health insurance.

South Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Charlee

Posted on March 2, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority types, Stupidity, Vermont, Women

Compare and contrast