Compare and contrast

Professor, looking at picture of optical illusion: Here…we have…a bunch of lines.

Northwestern Univeristy
Chicago, Illinois

Sister: Grandma got him a box of latexes!
Dad: Oh, well, I didn't know you and grandma were so…ahem…close.
Brother: Oh! God! No! Stop! My ears!

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Carly

Cop, helping hobo into jacket inside store: You are not drunk enough to be acting like this. People are going to think you are just mean.
Hobo: I *am* mean!

Sugarhood Smiths
Sugarhood, Utah

Teenage girl #1: Oh god, I want to fuck him so badly.
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, you whore! You don't fuck him! You make sweet, sweet love to him.

Summit, New Jersey

Sweet old lady: I'm a pretty wild gardener.

Bellingham, Washington

Young woman: I mean, bulimia is easy! But anorexia? That takes willpower!

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Mandy

Young boy #1: I want a wedding cake snowball.
Young boy #2: What does a wedding cake snowball taste like?
Young boy #1: Like wedding cake.
Young boy #2: I've never been to a wedding.
Young boy #1: Then it just tastes like cake.

Snowball Stand
Louisiana

Extremely drunk chick crying: I love him so much and he doesn’t even know! He’s my soulmate.
Exasperated sober chick: He’s fictional!

Armory Square
Syracuse, New York

Crying girl to friend: And my paper had all these, like, negative comments on it a-a-and then she pulled me aside and compared my paper to people who take English as a second language.

Virginia Commonwealth University, Virginia

Guy: Why were you guys talking about my penis?
Girl: We weren't.
Guy: Yes you were! I heard you mention it!
Girl: Zach! The world doesn't revolve around you and your penis!

Hagley Park
Christchurch
New Zealand