Boyfriend: Let’s get you all liquored up, and I can throw it in your butt.
Girlfriend: No! That’s not even how it happened the first time.
Trader Joe’s
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jummy Bear
Boyfriend: Let’s get you all liquored up, and I can throw it in your butt.
Girlfriend: No! That’s not even how it happened the first time.
Trader Joe’s
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jummy Bear
Girlfriend to boyfriend: So should I stop peeing in front of you ?
Boyfriend to girlfriend: No, I don't mind. I don't care…just don't let me see you poop, that's just too fucking weird.
Michigan
Overheard by: da da
Girl straddling guy on student lounge sofa: I want to suck your face off.
Guy: I’m just trying to get laid.
Boston University Central
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Vomiting in mouth
20-something boyfriend: What's it called when girls put brown around their lips?
20-something girlfriend: Lip liner?
20-something boyfriend: Yeah. Why don't you wear that?
20-something girlfriend: Because it's not 1995, and I'm not going on the Ricki Lake show.
Manhattan, New York
Husband: What's the greatest story ever told, then?
Wife: Hansel and Gretel!
Los Angeles, California
Tanorexic blonde on date: So basically the fucking doctor told me that my cervix is fucked up.
Uncomfortable-looking date: Right…
Tanorexic blonde on date: Yeah. Cunt told me that it'd be like pushing a baby through a toothpaste tube. I gotta go get it widened or some shit like that. Or that thing where they cut you open…
Uncomfortable-looking date: A caesarian?
Tanorexic blonde on date: Yeah. That's it. Baby kebab.
Leamington Spa
England
Girlfriend sipping frappuccino: We should be, like, writing screenplays in here.
Boyfriend, half ignoring her: My dog’s probably gay.
Girlfriend: Instead of just sitting here like posers, I mean.
Boyfriend: I guess if he had a girlfriend he’d fuck it instead of guy dogs.
Girlfriend: I dunno.
Boyfriend: What?
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: What? What were we talking about?
Girlfriend: Movies.
Starbucks
Gainesville, Florida
Drunk girl: I love how I come home trashed every night!
Boyfriend: And trip on the same step…
Drunk girl: [Trips] Fucking step.
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: JP
Wife: Honey, be nice…
Husband: No, I refuse to be nice. It’s against my religion.
Wife: Oh, sure, you should get your own title… Archbishop of Jackass.
Home Depot
Rancho Cucamonga, California
Blonde wife: You do realize that our son is going to tell his schoolmates that Jesus is either a zombie or a vampire. Then we are going to have to explain to his teacher that we are Jewish.
Asian husband: And that you are just bad at explaining things?
Houston, Texas
