Did You Really Just Say That?

Guy #1: I've been talking to this chick lately. It's kinda awkward, her last boyfriend killed himself, she found him dangling on the noose. What do I say to that?
Guy #2: Tell her you're well-hung.

Delaware

Overheard by: Dave

Posted on January 2, 2019
Death & dying, Delaware, Guys, Relationships, Words

But I Have Bought His Ashes on eBay

Guy in Mexican restaurant: Have you ever met the Pope?
Girl in Mexican restaurant: No. He's dead.

Groton, Connecticut

Overheard by: Newt

Posted on December 5, 2018
Connecticut, Death & dying, Default, Girls, Guys, Questions, Religion, Restaurants

Softly with Your Song, or What?

Black woman in the ER on cell: You killed him? What do you mean you “killed him”?

Chestnut Hill Hospital
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on October 12, 2018
Black people, Death & dying, Default, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Questions, Weirdness, Women

But Mick Jagger's So Old

Drunk girl at party: I want to hang off his lips until I die!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on October 11, 2018
Death & dying, Drunks, Girls, Mouth, Washington, Wishes

If No One Hears Them, Are They Really Dead?

Man: There are mutes dying all over the world, and they can't say anything! So here I am…

Providence, Rhode Island

Posted on October 10, 2018
Death & dying, Guys, Language barrier, Rhode Island, Weirdness

If the Tagline Isn’t “Gotta Fuck Them All” Then Someon Made a Mistake

Girl: The first Pokemon movie was really sad.
Guy #1: Oh, yeah! It made me cry.
Girl: I couldn’t believe when Pikachu almost died…
Guy #2: Have you guys seen Pokemon porn?
Girl: Okay, let’s just stop right there.
Guy #2: No, it’s crazy. You know Misty? She’ll do like anything!

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on September 30, 2018
Connecticut, Death & dying, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Guys, Movies, Offers and requests, Porn, Questions, TV shows, Weirdness

And Hopefully You'll Have Fewer Trackmarks.

Seven-year-old: Mommy, why is that man going under the train?
40-something woman: Because, sweetie, he works there.
Seven-year-old: He works under the train?
40-something woman: Yes, sweetie.
Seven-year-old: When I get older I wanna work under a train.
40-something woman: Nice, maybe you can pay for my funeral. Not like your older brother…

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Malina