Guy: Let's get married!
Girl: Okay! When are you free?
Guy: Um, is it okay if we wait til after college so I can get a job and make money first?
Girl: Sure! You can fuck other people if you want to!
Guy: Uh, really…
Girl: Oh look, there's my boyfriend! (runs off)
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Overheard by: Erica
Librarian: Watcha doin'?
High school girl: Studying.
Librarian: Nerd.
Bellingham, Washington
College student: Everything in life can be related back to Seinfeld. It's like the bible, except it won't fail you.
Hookah Bar
Washington, DC
Well-dressed man to female companion, in crowded tasting room: Did you remember the dildo?
Elegant lady companion: Yes, I brought both of them.
Napa Valley wine Auction
St. Helena, California
20-something: When I get a big-girl job, I'm going to go on weekend vacations all over the world… in this country.
International Airport
Cleveland, Ohio
Fratty-looking queer #1: I need some lip balm. My lips feel all dried up, like…old fruit.
Fratty looking queer #2: You are an old fruit. (pause) No, really, you're 25, which means you're almost 30, which means you're almost dead.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: gymbo
Very old woman: I do like those fuck-me pumps, but they're terrible for my feet.
Hampden, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl #1: He's planning on asking you out… He said he thinks you have a crush on him because you told him you think his hair looks sexy pushed back.
Girl #2: Really? I should reject him by telling him that I only date women of color.
Girl #1: Ha! Or say that you really don't want to get pregnant and die.
Girl #2: I can't. I'm sick. (coughs)
Girl #1: I wonder if you'd have to quote the whole movie before you destroyed his faith in humanity.
Princeton, New Jersey
Beefy tattooed inmate: Hey, does anyone know how to play twister?
(rest of unit groans)
Vancouver Island Maximum Security Prison
Canadia
Girl #1: I came really fast, apparently.
Girl #2: Wow, really?
Girl #1: Yeah. (sighs) If only we weren't talking about childbirth.
Auckland
New Zealand
