And That's Not What's on Abe Lincoln's Chin

Mom to young son: Don't say “testicles” in public!

Mount Rushmore, South Dakota

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on October 27, 2017
Advice, Balls, Default, Moms, South Dakota, Tourist attractions, Women, Words

After This, We Can All Go Have Tea

Instructor: Okay, ladies, on your backs and put the balls between your legs!

Athletic Club
Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: you don't hear that every day

Posted on October 26, 2017
Default, Education, Teachers, Virginia, Words

But All It Tells Me Is When They're Ready!

Guy: Where did all the animals go? I don't know, why don't you go ask your microwave!

Art Camp
Tallahassee, Florida

Posted on October 26, 2017
Advice, Animals, Default, Florida, Food, Guys, Questions

Puppy: Hey, I May Be Dinner— Cut Me Some Slack

Middle aged tourist with shopping bags moving towards a small puppy: Well, my oh my, aren't you the sweetest looking thing in the world!
Puppy: (barks)
Middle aged tourist: Oh, go fuck yourself!

Bangkok
Thailand

Overheard by: Adair

Posted on October 24, 2017
Animals, Asia, Compliments, Default, Feelings, Insults, Tourists

Time to Move Back to New York

Chick #1: I hate kittens.
Chick #2: Do you hate rainbows too?
Guy: And dreams?
Chick: #3: And butterflies?

San Diego, California

Posted on October 21, 2017
Animals, California, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Questions

We've Now Lost Brain Cells Just Talking About Texas

Queer: You should move to Texas. You haven't been there yet.
Chick: Are you kidding? I am in no way hot enough to live in Texas. For one thing, I'd need way bigger boobs.
Queer: Oh, honey. That's what plastic surgery is for!

The Castro
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: lucy

Posted on October 20, 2017
Advice, Body parts, California, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Queers, Questions

Davis Found Himself in the Middle of a Drunken Samurai Movie

Guy #1 to guy #2 who just stepped onto the elevator: Hey man, did you ever find your glasses?
Guy #2: Yeah, I did. They were at the concierge desk.
Guy #1: What about your pants?
Guy #2: Yeah, they were around my ankles, though I don't really know what happened with that.
Guy #1: I do. You did about 20 shots of rum in 10 minutes.
Guy #2: That doesn't sound right! It wasn't that fast!
Guy #1: Okay, maybe about 15 minutes then.
Guy #2: Yeah, that sounds right. I barely remember the sword.

Elevator
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Holly

Posted on October 19, 2017
Clothes, Default, Drinking & drunks, Georgia, Guys, Questions, Time Management, Weirdness

…R Squared?

Physics teacher, pointing to complex problem on board: So what do you do?
Student in back: Cry.

St. Joseph High School
Michigan

Posted on October 19, 2017
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That's the Last Time We Party with the Dean

Frat boy to friends: So, I look at him and think, “I'm not such a good friend that I'm gonna help him here.” He was halfway off his air mattress and his tighty whities were soaked with either sweat or urine
Friend #1: I'd have kept away too. I hope it was sweat.
Friend #2: Nah, dude. He's a pisser.

Brown Line Train
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jim

Posted on October 16, 2017
Body parts, Default, Frat boy types, Friends, Illinois, Pee, Train, Weirdness

You'll Look for Any Excuse to Reference That Song

Girl #1 (talking about her relationship): Yup, I'm pussy whipped. Or…what's the male equivalent for “pussy whipped”?
Girl #2: Well, there's that Ian Dury song that goes “hit me with your rhythm stick”, so maybe something along those lines.

Sabiá Bar
Sao Paulo
Brazil

Posted on October 15, 2017
Bars & Clubs, Brazil, Default, Girls, Music, Vagina, Words

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