Drunk guy: Well, I’m, like, more of a social reader, you know?
Columbus, Ohio
Coed: Ma, will you bail me out if I get arrested on Tuesday?
Mother: No.
Coed: Do you think dad will?
Mother: Yes, ask your father, he does those kind of things.
University Avenue
Palo Alto, California
Small boy: It’s fire!
His mother: That is your umbrella. It is not a sword or weapon of any kind.
Small boy: It’s underpants!
Trolley
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Girl in uniform: So when I went to pick up my uniform there were no skirts. So my mom was like “My daughter needs bottoms.”
Friend: That sucks!
Girl in uniform: Yeah, the skirt I’m wearing now belongs to this girl who was deported to Trinidad.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Myr
Lesbian with terrible tie: I am the vanguard of the revolution.
Cozy Corner Diner & Pancake House
Chicago, Illinois
Guy to friend: Well, you're from England and she's Canadian, so it probably has something to do with the metric system.
Lexington, Kentucky
Vegetarian, pointing to pink thing on her plate: What animal is that?
Waitress: That's a pear.
Mt. Vernon, New York
Overheard by: Deek
Black girl on one side: We look like an Oreo!
White girl in middle (jokingly): Oh, is that a race thing?
Black girl on the other side: Yes.
Outside Harvard Medical School
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Guy: Zack wants to come over to your place and drop off some weed, is that okay?
Girl: Yeah, definitely. Just give me some time first so I can screw the tops onto my balsamic vinaigrette really securely.
Guy: Yeah, he'll drink it.
Vancouver
Canadia
Hipster guy: Hey guys, this shirt's 100% organic. This shirt's made outta food! (quiet pause)
Hipster guy's friend: That is like, amazing.
Clothing Boutique
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Lauren.
