Hobo: Anyone got a dollar? I'm hungry as hell.
Fat girl: Here you go, man. (gives him a five)
Hobo: Thank you! Thank you! Now, see, because she's fat–no, I say healthy. I like my women healthy, gives me something to grab onto. Now, because she's fat, she knows I got to eat!
Fat girl: Umm…
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Woman to friend: I was just wondering how I was going to get my panties on in traffic.
University of Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Tatiana
Waiter in white shirt, black pants and black bow tie (singing): Doot doot doot, penguins walking downtown, doot doot doot, penguins smoking cigarettes…
Spokane, Washington
Professor to class, after licking her finger and cleaning the board with it: Do you guys think thats gross? Or hot?
University of Massachusetts
Tour guide: Be sure to stay with the group. The rats are very large and can sense weakness within the herd. (gives hard look to four old women)
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Julia
College girl holding two bottles to friend, dreamily: These pills are gonna make me a better person…
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shay
Guy: I mean, she was a one on a binary scale, but…
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lulia
Girl to friend: He said that I was his new BFF. “Best fuck forever”! I said that was sweet, and gave him a little kiss.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: TrixChix
20-something girl #1: Did you hear Dan and Jack are getting married?
20-something girl #2: But they're guys.
20-something girl #1: Yeah… guys who fell in love in college, have been together eight years, have never broken up once, and Dan proposed while they were in Paris.
20-something girl #2: Bitches! They stole my dream! See, this is why feminism sucks.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Frat boy to others: So you masturbate in a cup, right? Then you freeze it, and in the morning mix it with your protein powder.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: red
