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Serious Asian dude: I don't like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.

Maryland

Overheard by: Neither nor

Customer: Do you have any non-fiction books on vampires?

Dymocks Carousel
Perth, Western Australia
Australia

Overheard by: Richard

Girl, to two guys smoking in a bar: Oh my gosh! Smoking? Gross! (walks away, disgusted)
Guy #1: You wanna follow her and smoke?
Guy #2: Hell yeah, I do.

Denver, Colorado

Dude on cell: Hey, all I know is lonely men love chicken…

Illinois Wesleyan University
Illinois

Overheard by: martha

Teen guy: Yeah, we got like, so wasted!
Teen girl #1: It was great, yeah. We got so high.
Teen girl #2: Where did you guys get the alcohol?
Teen girl #1: What?
Teen girl #2: If you guys were getting high, where did you get the alcohol?
Teen girl #1: That's drunk. You get high off weed.
Teen girl #2: Oh. Okay. Then, where'd you get that?
Teen guy: My sister. She's sixteen!
Teen girl #2: Can't you get high off books?
Teen guy: What?
Teen girl #2: Cause, can't, like…books get you high?
Teen girl #1: What?

Library
East Vancouver, BC
Canadia

Teenage Hispanic girl #1: Oh my god! I totally forgot today is Cinco de Mayo!
Teenage Hispanic girl #2: Wow, you're right!
30-something hippie in line: It's only March…

Convenience Store
Carrollton, Texas

Girl: At first I was like, “what is that blinding light?” and then I realized I was staring right into the projector and I felt really smart.

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Thug wannabe: Damn, you see that white girl? She got a magic booty.

Mall
Buford, Georgia

Overheard by: girl with the magical booty

Guy #1: Hey, cool! Harry Potter bookmarks! You think they have one for Hufflepuff?
Guy #2: Probably not.
Guy #1: Oh… Do you think it’s because nobody cares?

Borders
Tucson, Arizona

Little girl #1 (holding a Patrick Star toy): Mommy, mommy! Can I get this?
Scary mom: No.
Little girl #1: Why?
Scary mom: Because last time we bought one of those was the day you had your seizure.
Little girl #1 (running around the store and flapping her arms): My seizure, my seizure!
Little girl #2 (also running and flapping): Your seizure, your seizure!

Kings Island, Ohio