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Gay girl: Look at me, I'm flaming!
Teacher: Oh, you're not flaming. Flickering, maybe.

Long Island High School
New York

Tall skinny guy: Did you know that three out of every four deaths on roller coasters are girls? It's because they're so small and aerodynamic.

Six Flags
Valencia, California

Teenage girl: What are you doing here?
20-something girl: Came to get some lighters because I lost mine.
Teenage girl, after a moment: Your virginity?
20-something girl, slowly: No, my lighters…you just choose what you want to hear and make up the rest, don't you?
Teenage girl: Yeah.

Scotland
United Kingdom

Overheard by: Jen

Very blonde white lady, at a table with her children: I love the ghetto!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Short Asian chick to tall white guy: Oh my gawd, I've got it! So, heat rises, right? So it's probably all warm up there where you are, and down here with the normal people it's cold, and that's why you don't think it's cold, even though it's freaking freezing! Gawd, I love being an Asian! I come up with the most genius shit!

Muirlands Middle School
La Jolla, California

35-year-old man: Do you know what I did for you? I left my home, my wife. I cheated because I was cheated on, I know what that's like. You're turning 30, you need a man, what's a woman at 30? You're alone!
28-year-old woman: You're having a midlife crisis. Women don't get those. I'm there for you, like, “you should stop at three drinks because you're a terrible drunk.”
35-year-old man: You'd do that for me?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Matt

Girl #1: I have to gloat a little. Who's the perv now, bitches?
Girl #2: Still us.
Girl #1: Well, duh, still us. But now them, too!
Girl #2: Totally.

Maynard, Massachusetts

Economics professor: I don't judge others' lifestyles. (pause) I mean…unless they are a total trainwreck.

Illinois State University

Little girl, about sleeping baby sister: Him is sleeping? Him is sleeping?!
Mom, exasperated: No! Her is sleeping!

Kansas

Chick #1: I hope you never snap and become a serial killer.
Chick #2 (lovingly): Because I'd kill you first!
Chick #1: I know.
Chick #2: And then I'd stuff you… I would stuff you with your clothes so you smell like yourself.

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Good Advice!