Remember That Time I Did Those Tequila Shots and Used “Ain’t”?

Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk — I’m mixing my metaphors!

Bucknell University

Posted on November 2, 2017
Drinking & drunks, North America, Pennsylvania, Students, USA, Words

Davis Found Himself in the Middle of a Drunken Samurai Movie

Guy #1 to guy #2 who just stepped onto the elevator: Hey man, did you ever find your glasses?
Guy #2: Yeah, I did. They were at the concierge desk.
Guy #1: What about your pants?
Guy #2: Yeah, they were around my ankles, though I don't really know what happened with that.
Guy #1: I do. You did about 20 shots of rum in 10 minutes.
Guy #2: That doesn't sound right! It wasn't that fast!
Guy #1: Okay, maybe about 15 minutes then.
Guy #2: Yeah, that sounds right. I barely remember the sword.

Elevator
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Holly

Posted on October 19, 2017
Clothes, Default, Drinking & drunks, Georgia, Guys, Questions, Time Management, Weirdness

Man, I Love Youth Group Retreats

Chick deciding between two skanky tops: Well, what’s the difference? I’m just going to get drunk and take it off anyway.

H&M, Briarwood Mall
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Melanie

Posted on October 16, 2017
Clothes, Drinking & drunks, Hoochies, Michigan

I Suppose I Could Have One of My Concubines Answer Them, Though

Student: Professor, will you be able to answer e-mails while you are away, since our final is in a week?
Uncomfortable Japanese professor with strange British/Japanese accent: No, I will not be able to answer students’ e-mails because most of the time I come home I am drunk.
Students: [Incredulous silence. Laughter.]

Philosophy class
McGill University
Canadia

Overheard by: student who hated this prof until this comment…

Posted on October 15, 2017
Asians, Canadia, Class, Default, Drinking & drunks, Education, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Teachers

Um, It's a Shit Party in Your Pants, Dude

Girl at party: For the last time: I am not interested in you. You're too short, too fat and too drunk!
Guy, defiantly: I'm not drunk! If I was drunk, I wouldn't think you were so fucking ugly!
(girl storms off angrily)
Guy, to himself: It's a shit party when the ugliest bitch at the party ain't a sure thing!!

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Scotty