Man on cell in line at bank, clearly agitated: After what happened last time, you expect me to do that? (pause) What? I can't work with that! (dead silence, then yelling) Look, you motherfucker… I know what the goddamn price of heroin is, and that's not it! (runs away from bank, gets on his 745 BMW)
Customer in line: Did he just say what I think he said?
Teller: I totally heard “heroin.”
Tukwila, Washington
Girl #1: You look really high right now.
Girl #2, panicking: Do I smell high!?
Cumberland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Student: How can you tell that it's “the walls have ears” and not “the ears have walls”? I mean, I guess that would make sense if you were drugged up…
Professor: Are you implying that I'm not drugged up?
Latin Class
Denver, Colorado
Guy: Well, I mean the sun was coming up, and we went and got sandwiches afterwards, and rolled another joint.
Bemused girl: All this is setting the scene nicely, but it doesn't explain how you ended up masturbating on a school roof together.
Guy: We were twenty feet apart with our backs to each other, it wasn't gay or anything!
Cork
Ireland
Frat guy, after taking a hit from a blunt and smoking a cigarette: I feel like I spend the majority of my day inhaling something.
University of Wisconsin
Madison, Wisconsin
Security agent: What's in the box, sir?
Guy with cardboard box: Pot. (long pause, then slowly) A ceramic pot.
Durango Airport
Durango Colorado
30-something large man: That book by George Orwell, 1984, is a prophecy!
Skinny guy sitting next to him: Yeah, yeah, man.
30-something large man: Because in 1985, the government took over, and they were the ones selling all the crack and dope. I would know. I was working for them.
Transit Bus
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: scooting farther away
Professor: And that's why caffeine is my drug of choice. (awkward pause) So who here had some caffeine today?
University of Rochester, New York
Slacker student boy, after teacher has announced half the class will have to take summer school: Yeah! Summer school!
Serious student girl: What's so great about summer school?
Slacker student boy: You get to get out earlier and you can do all sorts of shit without getting in trouble.
(serious student girl rolls eyes and shakes head)
Slacker student boy: Why don't you like summer school?
Serious student girl: I don't find the idea of waking up early through the summer appealing.
Slacker student boy: Have you ever had summer school?
Serious student girl: No, and I don't plan on doing so.
Slacker student boy: Don't be so sure of that, because one day you're going to start doing drugs.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: inoursecrets
Professor, at 8 am: If coffee doesn't work, drink RedBull. But if that doesn't work, I suggest amphetamines or heroin.
Class, SUNY
Purchase, New York
Overheard by: Jessica
