Drunks

Bartender: I've never seen someone drink ten Jägerbombs in 15 minutes before…you must be from hell.
Slightly drunk girl: No! I'm from New York. 10? That was 10? Oh, crap, 10 is a lot more than 3.

London
England

Drunk #1: It is loud in here.
Drunk #2: No, it isn't.
Drunk #1: Well, you aren't sitting over here.
Drunk #2: What?

Olathe, Kansas

Drunk bride: One time, I broke my dildo into two pieces. With my…you know. (other girls look at her in disbelief) What? I was horny!

Bridal Shower
Norway

Overheard by: Hege

Drunk college girl: She doesn't use tampons because she doesn't want anything up there except her husband's dick? So, if she used tampons she'd be like, “Oh, I'm sorry honey, I lost my virginity to a cotton stick?” What a retard!

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Megan

Chunky drunken woman shouting to friend and waving her arms wildly: I don't want no peepshow! I wanna dildo!

Downtown Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Bowtie Daddy

Drunk guy: Excuse me assholes, pregnant woman coming through.
Drunk pregnant wife: I fell down the stairs yesterday, my baby is like one of the warriors from 300.

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: MN

Assumed alcoholic: You didn't have alcohol. One beer isn't alcohol. Six beer is alcohol!

St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Drunk man to girlfriend: So, it's like Swiss cheese, okay? All the women I've ever slept with are like Swiss cheese.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/325420800/aged-and-full-of-holes.html

Overheard by: wow, where do you pick up girls?

Young drunk guy: …but everything will be better once I break his jaw.
Friend: Yeah, word.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: bex

Drunk girl to friends: Dave and I were talking about which Muppet is hottest. I said the Count. He says Cookie Monster.
Dave: The Count would count every thrust! One… Hahaha… Two… Hahaha…
Drunk girl: But the Cookie Monster would get crumbs in the bed!

Downtown Grill and Brewery
Knoxville, Tennessee