Queer, after being rushed to play Scrabble: You don't understand what it's like having all vowels!
Drunk girl: You don't understand what it's like having a vagina, so who wins?
Queer: I do! I have an emotional vagina.
Long Beach, California
Overheard by: pucewoman
(drunk boy pulls out diamond ring and offers it to drunk girl)
Drunk girl: Fuck you, Tim! You fell asleep at dinner!
London
England
Overheard by: Tequila Sally
Drunk man to another: If I had a nose like fluorine I wouldn't be wishing anyone a merry Christmas.
Bar
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Jesse Green
Drunk guy walking past mirror: Man, sometimes I see myself, and I make myself horny.
Hanover College
Hanover, Indiana
Overheard by: Whitney
Afternoon drunk: Nah, man, it's 32. That's freezing. It don't get lower than that.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: colder that him, apparently
Drunk teenage boy: Heyyy, ssssuuuuupp, buddd… (stumbles away)
Sober teenage boy: I guess he's too drunk to notice that we're not friends.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Drunk girl at pub table: It's just that guys get sex changes all the time and then realize it's not so fun. They just think it'd be awesome to have boobs.
London
England
Overheard by: Grew her own boobs.
Very drunk girl: I'm going to go pee with my vagina.
Venice, Florida
Drunk woman #1: I shoulda been in the mafia.
Drunk woman #2: Why?
Drunk woman #1: I hate loose ends.
Bar
Louisiana
Overheard by: soprano
Drunk girl, pointing to apartment across the street: Look! The elevator goes up and down! It's so cool!
Sober girl: Yeah…they tend to do that.
Drunk girl: Shut up! (pause) But this one lights up! Oh, look! There it goes again!
London
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The D.D. for the night
