Student: How can you tell that it's “the walls have ears” and not “the ears have walls”? I mean, I guess that would make sense if you were drugged up…
Professor: Are you implying that I'm not drugged up?
Latin Class
Denver, Colorado
Student: How can you tell that it's “the walls have ears” and not “the ears have walls”? I mean, I guess that would make sense if you were drugged up…
Professor: Are you implying that I'm not drugged up?
Latin Class
Denver, Colorado
Asian kid: Damn, I can't do math.
Non-Asian kid: Somehow I doubt that.
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jesse
Woman, searching through bargain bin: Do you want this? This woman taught at Bennington!
Girl: Dude, that's old! She teaches at my school now. Her son was in my class. His lab puppy shat on dreadlock, girl!
Borders
Mansfield, Massachusetts
Russian professor: Grammarlicious definition makes them “gringo locos.” (pause) Now that you've all been permanently scarred…
Arizona State University
Student, about the economy: Well, what if I just took my big stick and made them give me their resources?
Professor: Well, let's just imagine that your stick isn't big enough to extract the resources you want. (chuckles) Sometimes there's no pleasure in the big stick. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about sticks now.
Classroom
UC Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
Professor: In a year or two, you're going to graduate and have to face the hard decision about what to do with your life. Some of you will be lawyers, some of you will be engineers, and some of you will opt for a life of crime. When you do, and you get caught, roll over on the person you're caught with, and ask for absolute immunity. I hope you don't choose a life of crime, but if you do, at least be smart about it.
Pre-law Class
USC
College girl: The way I see it, chemistry is just like prostitution.
Northern Michigan University
Overheard by: everyone gets screwed?
Student: What would Elvis say?
Professor: What would Plato say?
Student: What would Butler say?
Campbell: What would Foucault say?
Girl in back row: All I know is he broke a table.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: elvis eavesdropper
