Father, dragging boy for being naughty: I have had enough of this! You're a horrible child!
Son: But I won't do it again, I promise! (cries hysterically)
Father: Yes, you said that 13 times ago, but you still do it! You're a horrible boy, so we're going to disown you.
Son: Nooooo!
Father: Shut up.
Telford
England
Overheard by: nicmunn
Charity guy: Hello there. I’m Australian, and I’m giving out free hugs.
Girl: Okay then [hugs him].
Charity guy: What about your friends here?
Girl: Oh, they’re German. They don’t want hugs.
Redhill
Surrey
England
30-something to friend: After that, it was no use to him. Well…not as a leg, anyway.
Bus
England
Overheard by: Jeff Alderman
20-something girl, skipping over to expensive jewelery shop window: Ooooh! Sparkly things!
20-something guy: Fuck.
20-something girl, eyes shining with delight: Oh… Look at the rings… They're beautiful! (sighs)
20-something guy: No.
20-something girl: Look at that one! It's cheap!
20-something guy: It's £450!
20-something girl: You just got paid! Oh, look! That one's even prettier and sparklier!
20-something guy: Granted… But there's also no price tag… So it's probably gonna be £1,000 at least.
20-something girl, resignedly: Yeah. (perks up) But you're my friend… (pleading voice) Buy me a ring… Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssse!
20-something guy: Look, for a £1,000 ring I'm going to expect at least a couple of shags.
20-something girl: True. Oh, well. Let's go get coffee. (skips off)
Burlington Arcade
London
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Elderly woman #1: And all her chinaware was Royal Worcester!
Elderly woman #2, looking shocked: No! Really? You wouldn't tell by looking at her, would you?
Elderly woman #1, shaking head: No, you would not.
Rural Staffordshire
England
Suit: So yeah, I found out how my boss's boss takes his tea, and I took him a cup this morning, along with a muffin.
Non-suit: And did you remember to take a napkin to wipe his feces from your nose?
London
England
Overheard by: Eastender
Lady on loudspeaker: The train on platform 3 is going to Edgeware Road. The train on platform 4 is for Embankment Station. District Line services are not running between Embankment and Whitechapel. Platform 3 is for Edgeware Road, platform 4 is for Embankment. If you are still on this platform after these trains leave, you are lost and confused and need to find a member of staff.
Earl's Court Station
London
England
Construction worker eating pizza: So basically, pizza is just glorified cheese on toast.
Hatton Garden
London
England
Overheard by: Katy Out To Lunch
Mother, queuing at nativity play: Well, of course, she was disappointed to be a shepherd. I mean, children are smart these days. She knows full well there weren't any female shepherds back then.
Milton Keynes
England
Conductor: Mind the gap, doors closing. (train does not move) Those naughty, naughty doors.
London
England
Overheard by: ren
