Fears

After I Rolled Your Lungs and Smoked the Tar Out of Them

Nurse #1 (during break): I hope you don't mind, I took one of your cigarettes from your purse because I was really craving one.
Nurse #2: it's no problem. (pause) Wait. Was it my last one?
Nurse #1: Yeah…is that a problem?
Nurse #2 (furious): Are you fucking kidding me?!
Nurse #1: Yeah, yeah, relax! I was just kidding. There's two more in there.
Nurse #2: Oh my god. Don't joke about things like that.
Nurse #1 (nervously): Hahaha. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't scared for my life just now.
Nurse #2 (seriously): And I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't thinking of places to hide your body.

Geneva General Hospital
Geneva, New York

Overheard by: molly guns

Since They Haven't Yet Arrested You for Wearing That Silly Human Suit

High girl #1: I mean, they can't arrest me for walking around in a gorilla suit, can they?
High girl #2: No, dude, I don't think so.

Georgia College & State University

On the Other Hand, If I Don't Make Out with Him, the Terrorists Win

Roommate: I am afraid that if I make out with him, he'll think that I'm an Iraqi.

Memphis, Tennessee

Overheard by: Possibly…

Good God– He's Got a Sock Puppet!

(a group of people are standing on the steps of the station, singing about Christianity)
Man, sprinting across the road: Run for your lives! He's preaching Jesus!

Flinders Street Station
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Skeeta

But I Hear There's a Starbucks There Now

Waiter: I think it would be cool to live on the moon…
Waitress: Yeah, I don't think I could do that. I'm afraid of heights.

Texas City, Texas

Overheard by: TurboCat

When Spies Go on Dates

Man coming out of Tibetan restaurant: But I saw the rabbit!
Woman: No, the rabbit is dead. I promise you, the rabbit is dead.

Boulevard de Magenta
Paris, France

Overheard by: Texpat

But My Girlfriend Definitely Is

Guy on cell: Yeah, I haven't decided yet if camels are enough like horses for them to scare the crap out of me to ride.

Gaithersburg, Maryland

Overheard by: I never knew he was afraid of horses!

No, Dad, Joe Camel Is Not on the Ticket

Woman on phone: No dad, the Democratic congress is probably not affecting the cancer rate. No, a Democratic president will probably not make cancer rates worse.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/348841951/id-like-to-hear-his-theory.html

Overheard by: me!

Oh, That's It— I'm Blocking BET!

Four-year old black boy, as security car passes: Run, mommy, run! The cops are coming!

Outside of Wal-Mart
Cortlandt, New York

When I Come Back with Half a Face, It's on Your Conscience

(little girl follows older sister into the bathroom)
Older sister: Sarah, do not come in here with me! I'm on the phone!
Sarah: But I have to go to the bathroom! Besides, you're just talking to your boyfriend.
Older sister: Sarah, I mean it! Go up to the room.
Sarah: You know daddy doesn't let me go in the elevator by myself.
Older sister: Just do it, he's not going to know.
Sarah: But someone could take me!
Older sister: Yeah right, who would want you?
Sarah: The Vice President of the United States!

Marriot Hotel
Teaneck, New Jersey

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