Film professor: Apparently in the 1970s the devil came to earth with the intention of occupying small women.
Corvallis, Oregon
Overheard by: David
Serious girl: You have to clean your bathroom or else there’ll be hungry ghosts lurking behind your toilet.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Guy on cell: And all I could say was: “Thank God… I have my surfboard with me!”
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Little boy: I don’t have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do sweetie…
Little boy: No! I don’t have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do…
Little boy: No, you’re a giant!
Grocery Store
Colorado
Overheard by: Not a Giant or a Grandma
Guy #1: John* really needs to get laid. He hasn’t hooked up for months.
Guy #2: Dude, didn’t you hear what happened to him?
Guy #1: No.
Guy #2: The last girl he brought home shat in his bed. He’s been kind of gun-shy since then.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Student: I have this irrational fear of being clunked over the head and shipped to a country whose alphabet I don’t know, so I’m trying to learn all these alphabets… I must be paranoid, I don’t know.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: l_tau
Grocery store clerk: Did you find everything you were looking for today?
Customer: Yep.
Clerk: Oh good. The last woman said she didn’t, and I had no idea what to say. So I just looked at her and kind of shrugged my shoulders. She got so mad.
Customer: Then why do you ask?
Clerk: To be polite.
HyVee
Fort Dodge, Iowa
Little boy: But I don’t care about the dead guys anymore!
Washington Monument
Washington, DC
Confused girl: Someone with an unknown number just called me twice. I, of course, ignored the calls. Then they left a voicemail of music from The Nutcracker…I have the feeling I’m about to be murdered.
Lexington, Kentucky
Thug sitting in traffic yelling into cell: I moved you and the goddamn kids out here! I robbed muthafuckas for you! I’m facing five to ten goddamn years for you, and I can’t even get a goddamn thank you?! Bitch, you drunk?!
Highway
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: scaredspectator
