Fears

Man in stall on the left: Bill, I think we’re in the wrong bathroom.
Man in stall on the right: Yeah, I think I just figured that out.

Women’s restroom at United Center
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: the girl in the stall between them

College guy: And then, there would be no more vagina!

Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: Laiah and Caitlin

Girl: I think my ribs are double-jointed.

Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Kelsey

Girl: Look, you have to tell her.
Guy: I can’t tell her! I’ve kept this for so long!
Girl: If she really loves you that much she’ll understand.
Guy: How can I tell the girl that I love that I don’t like musicals?!

Bruin Walk, UCLA
California

Overheard by: if that’s the worst thing in your relationship…

Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Really? Well, even though you’re three weeks late, you totally don’t have to worry until a month after you guys actually did it. So you’ve definitely got at least a week left until you need to start worrying.
Teen girl #2: … Really?
Teen girl #1: Yes, I’m completely sure. You’re totally fine. Golden. Except that you’re 17 and might be pregnant.

Dallas Airport
Dallas, Texas

Loud teenage girl: Oh my god, condoms are flying everywhere!

Ridgewood, New Jersey

Overheard by: i don’t see any condoms

Little boy, pointing to tourist: Mom! I can't get on because the American will eat me!

Philippines

English professor: Outer space is occupied by evil orientals.

Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Sarah Yvonne

Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it's a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j-j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That's only for guys. And in the Amazon!

Redding, California

Bimbette on cell: I thought I’d died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan