Ten Bucks Says He's a Collective Hallucination

Hot burner chick: Our bar was busy until the fat naked guy showed up and scared everyone off!
Fat naked guy: I'm wearing Uggs!

Burning Man
Nevada

Overheard by: Eavesdropper

Posted on August 13, 2015
Chicks, Clothes, Creepsters, Diet & weight, Fat people, Fears, Guys, Nevada, Shoes, Weirdness

Think We Could Get That Classified As a Learning Disorder?

Guy #1: Sometimes it's hard being a guy.
Guy #2: Why is that?
Guy #1: Well, I try to stay focused and get shit done, but every time a female walks by I feel obligated to turn around and check out her tits and ass. I just want to get through a project without being distracted by tits and ass.
Guy #2: Yeah, but don't you worry you might miss the world's greatest tits and ass?
Guy #1: Exactly!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: sean

Posted on August 4, 2015
Beauty, Body parts, Colorado, Default, Fears, Gender issues, Gripes, Guys, Questions

Oh Yeah, You’d Like Me to Pour You on My Meat

Guy to friend: My hot sauce packet is talking dirty to me.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Josh

Posted on August 2, 2015
California, Default, Etiquette, Fears, Food, Friends, Guys, Sexuality, Weirdness

Weirdest PTA Meeting Ever.

Girl on cell in crowded elevator: Walking through the naked women was supposed to represent, like, going through the birth canal!

Royal Ontario Museum
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: painted_veil

Posted on August 1, 2015
Canadia, Cell phones, Fears, On the phone, Uterus

“Throw Your Brother Into the Campfire,” It Says

Little girl to mom: My stomach controls me!

Campsite, California

Posted on July 28, 2015
Body parts, Default, Fears, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Weirdness

And This Time Don’t Roll on Me Just Because They Offer You Cookies and Juice

Little boy: You used to have a pocket knife, mommy!
Mother, laughing nervously: No, I didn’t!
Little boy: Yes you did! You used to!
Nervous mother: No, I never did! I never had a pocket knife! Please don’t tell the police that!

YMCA
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Muffin

Posted on July 25, 2015
California, Crimes, Default, Fears, Guys, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Violence, Weirdness, YMCA

Which Just Means It’s Ripe

Girl on cell: She said that she used her vibrator so much last week, she thought her vagina was going to swell up and fall off.

Walmart
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on July 21, 2015
Default, Fears, Georgia, Girls, Masturbation, Stores, Vagina, Women

Ah, the Terrible Twos.

Woman on cell, in deadpan voice: Now's not a good time to talk to him about it. (pause) He's got a chainsaw. I really wouldn't talk to him about it right now.

Bus
Amherst, Massachusetts

Posted on July 20, 2015
Bus, Fears, Massachusetts, On the phone, Violence, Women

You’ll Have Plenty of Time for That When You’re in Your 20’s and Getting Out of Limos

Mother to daughter hopping up and down on escalator: Now Beth*, if you keep doing that your pants are going to get caught in the conveyor belt and they’ll be ripped off and all of South Station is going to see your little mermaid underwear. [Girl immediately stops.]

South Station
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Meg

Posted on July 14, 2015
Clothes, Default, Fears, Girls, Kids, Massachusetts, Moms, Public transportation, Threats

Dating MacGyver Scars You for Life

Chick to friend: Oh, yeah, this doesn’t look suspicious. A taco wrapped in a Dollar Tree bag, a baby, and a grill lighter.

16th Street Mall
Denver, Colorado

Posted on July 6, 2015
Colorado, Default, Fears, Feelings, Food, Friends, Girls, Malls

Fears