…To Paraphrase Nietzsche

White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. “Your mom died of overdose” is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But…I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.

Computer Science Department
Ohio State University

Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret

Posted on May 11, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Crimes, Default, Drugs, Family ties, Fears, Offers and requests, Ohio, On the phone, Weirdness, Women

Judging by the Pampered, Fat-Faced Look Of You

College tour guide, passing crying student: College is hard. You will cry.

Willamette University
Salem, Oregon

Posted on April 9, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Fears, Feelings, Girls, Oregon, Students

Luckily So Many Other Things Taste Like Them

College girl: Just think about all the chickens that get killed every day, like just by McDonald’s.
Friend: Yeah, but you know… I don’t really care.
College girl: Oh no, I don’t care about them either, I’m just scared they’re gonna run out of chickens.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Curlee

Posted on March 11, 2016
Animals, Fears, Feelings, Food, Friends, Massachusetts, Sorority types

Welcome to College

Freshman guy: It's been in my mouth for almost a minute now, and I'm still not sure what it is.
Freshman girl: Scary thought, isn't it?

Dining Hall, Arcadia University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 2, 2016
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Fears, Girls, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Students

What Passes for Legal Argument in Australia

Goth lolita girl: I'm sensing some copyright violations in your aura.
Emo guy: Nuh-uh!

Chatswood Station
Sydney
Australia

Posted on November 15, 2015
Australia, Crimes, Fears, Girls, Goths, Guys, Magic, Public transportation

Is Anyone Else Kinda Aroused?

Bogan guy: Oh, I forgot to get you something for dinner tonight.
Bogan girl: I wish I could walk to the shops. It's alright for you, you wanna walk somewhere, you just go.
Bogan guy: You can't go to the shops, it's not safe.
Bogan girl: I really like walking. You know, I just go out on my own, and I'm outside…
Bogan guy: But it's not safe on your own, and it's so far away.
Bogan girl: Yeah, but I really like walking, walking is really cool. I really like it.
(pause).
Bogan girl: So, what, are you gonna have me eat two-minute noodles for dinner?
Bogan guy: For fuck's sake, I don't care what you eat! Walk to the fucking shops if you fucking want to! Just stop your fucking whinging!

Bus
Perth
Australia

Posted on October 26, 2015
Australia, Fears, Food, Rednecks, Shopping

Succubi Are Surprisingly Good Mothers, Considering

Small boy: [Runs up to his mother and hugs her around the waist.] Don’t take my soul!

Macy’s
Salem, New Hampshire

Posted on October 7, 2015
Fears, Guys, Kids, New Hampshire, Offers and requests, Stores, Weirdness, Wishes

Without Warning, It Leaped Out of Its Hiding Place

Girl to cross-dressing friends: …and then my butt scared him.

Gay Club
Denver, Colorado

Posted on September 6, 2015
Ass, Colorado, Default, Fears, Girls

And Kept Me Awake by Leading “Expeditions” Into My Sock Drawer

Girl #1: I found that doll the other day.
Girl #2: What doll?
Girl #1: The Steve Irwin doll, you know, the one that used to look at me creepy while I was sleeping.
Girl #2: Ohhhh, that doll!

Bleeker’s Bowling Alley
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on August 23, 2015
About celebrities, Default, Fears, Girls, Illinois, Questions, Weirdness

Ten Bucks Says He's a Collective Hallucination

Hot burner chick: Our bar was busy until the fat naked guy showed up and scared everyone off!
Fat naked guy: I'm wearing Uggs!

Burning Man
Nevada

Overheard by: Eavesdropper

Posted on August 13, 2015
Chicks, Clothes, Creepsters, Diet & weight, Fat people, Fears, Guys, Nevada, Shoes, Weirdness

Fears