Florida

CPR class instructor: So when they sent the babies to us, they forgot to include the faces…

University of Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Zach

Morbidly obese man: It’s like when you go dumpster-diving and find a whole bedroom set.

Wal-Mart
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: Andrea

20-something woman preparing turkey to guy: I'm not sure what's worse, pulling all this out of the turkey's ass, or you taking it in the ass last night.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: At least some one had a happy thanksgiving

Bottle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your color done!
Natural blonde gentleman: Bitch, this comes from Adonis genes gifted from on high.

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove

Drunk girl on cell: What? … I’m so drunk I can’t even hear… I want to do naughty things to you… So, you’re saying if I were to lick and suck you, you wouldn’t care?

Fiddler’s Green
Winter Park, Florida

Overheard by: grossed out because she’s not even cute

Hot girl with big boobs, to friend: Ugh… I shouldn’t have worn this shirt. [Lowers voice] Everyone’s looking…
Middle-aged cashier: You should appreciate them. I had a husband who would pop mine out at football games. It made me so angry, but now I’d love for someone to appreciate mine enough that he’d want to show the world my beauty.

Publix
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: guy behind them

Tween girl #1: I have to tell you something — I don’t think Rachel is that hot.
Tween girl #2: Oh my god, I’m so glad you said that, ’cause I’m afraid to talk to people about her because everyone thinks she is so pretty.
Tween girl #1: They were doing this rating thing where they rate people on a scale, and Ryan gave her a seven.
Tween girl #2: She is totally not a seven — her boobs are inverted.

Premier Oaks Movie Theater
Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: *shakes head*

Man to woman: Is it weird that we’ve watched your mother having sex?

Pensacola, Florida

Overheard by: Are you serious?!

Guy on cell walking past elephants: I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Yeah, I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Okay. Bye.

Busch Gardens
Tampa Bay, Florida

Sorority girl, upset: And then her other sister had sex with my sister!

University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: really curious about the rest of that conversation