Florida

Hot girl with big boobs, to friend: Ugh… I shouldn’t have worn this shirt. [Lowers voice] Everyone’s looking…
Middle-aged cashier: You should appreciate them. I had a husband who would pop mine out at football games. It made me so angry, but now I’d love for someone to appreciate mine enough that he’d want to show the world my beauty.

Publix
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: guy behind them

Tween girl #1: I have to tell you something — I don’t think Rachel is that hot.
Tween girl #2: Oh my god, I’m so glad you said that, ’cause I’m afraid to talk to people about her because everyone thinks she is so pretty.
Tween girl #1: They were doing this rating thing where they rate people on a scale, and Ryan gave her a seven.
Tween girl #2: She is totally not a seven — her boobs are inverted.

Premier Oaks Movie Theater
Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: *shakes head*

Man to woman: Is it weird that we’ve watched your mother having sex?

Pensacola, Florida

Overheard by: Are you serious?!

Guy on cell walking past elephants: I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Yeah, I'm watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Okay. Bye.

Busch Gardens
Tampa Bay, Florida

Sorority girl, upset: And then her other sister had sex with my sister!

University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: really curious about the rest of that conversation

Tired restaurant patron: Why would Reese's Pieces put out rhesus monkeys? That's just wrong!

Restaurant
Ocala, Florida

Overheard by: Fully aware restaurant patron

Girl: Ryan, if you had a vagina, what would she wear?
Boy: She? What if I had a male vagina?
Boy #2: Oh, he would be so sassy!

Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: Livi

Girl on cell: Wait! (pause) So, it's a gang for crippled people?

Orlando, Florida

Girl: She came in at 5:30 in the morning. Is she like trying to beat the walk of shame rush?

University of Florida

White student #1: Yeah, it's a good thing I'm not going to that preppy high school anymore.
White student #2: Yeah, I agree.
White student #3: You'd probably still be having sex with white girls.

Deerfield Beach High School
Florida