You Said That about My Leg, and It’s Still Broken

Dude #1: I have a really bad headache.
Dude #2: You know what cures that? Sodomy!

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/02/i-think-ill-suffer-migrane-thanks.html

Posted on September 22, 2020
Advice, Eavesdrop DC, Friends, Headaches, Washington, DC

As I Learned at the Birth-a-Bear Workshop

Boy to friend: I'm totally capable of giving birth to a live teddy bear.

High School
Clarksville, Maryland

Posted on September 16, 2020
Animals, Friends, Maryland, Offspring, Weirdness

…Since I Accepted Homer Simpson As My Personal Savior

Teenage girl #1: He hates me.
Teenage girl #2: He doesn’t hate you. Maybe you should just say “hi” to him.
Teenage girl #1: How am I supposed to say “hi”? I have voices in my head saying “I want cheeseburgers”!

Canberra
Australia

Posted on September 15, 2020
Advice, Australia, Default, Feelings, Food, Friends, Girls, Teens

Should've Realized He Wasn't “Chosen” When He Never Got Picked for T-Ball

Girl to friend: So he was already crying because he found out we weren't Jewish. Then he was like, “But aunt Jill is Jewish! Why aren't we?!” My mom had to explain that Jill's her best friend, not her sister. So then he found out we weren't related to Jacob and everyone. So he cried even harder.
Friend: Wow.
Girl: Yeah, but he was like 10, so he should have just sucked it up.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Tyler

Posted on September 14, 2020
Age and ageing, Default, Family ties, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Massachusetts, Religion

“Tulsa” Spelled Backwards Is “a Slut”– Coincidence?

Teen girl to friend: I'm too sexy for my vulva.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Posted on September 13, 2020
Compare and contrast, Friends, Girls, Oklahoma, Teens, Vagina

I’ve Practiced on My Lifesized “Seven of Nine” Doll

Nerdy teen #1: So you just sort of put your hands down her pants and rub up behind her.
Nerdy teen #2 (nodding): Yeah. I know what you mean.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: iloveholidays

Posted on August 21, 2020
Advice, Ass, Canadia, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Foreplay, Friends, Guys, Sex, Stupidity, Teens

An Inflatable Friend

Old guy to friend: He got a new girl who works in the sex industry… and you know his fantasy has always been two women. I told him it'd never happen, but apparently it did. His girl has a friend who was willing to play along…

Holland, Michigan

Posted on August 21, 2020
Friends, Jobs & Careers, Kink, Michigan, Old folks, Relationships

Or at Least on the Photos We’ll Be Passing Out

Hot chick to another: You look so good! Guys will be jerking off on you tonight!

Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on July 30, 2020
Compliments, Friends, San Francisco

While You, Me, and Dupre Taught Me to Value Threesomes

Cute girl to friend: But I don't want a booty call! (pause) But the message of the notebook made me realize how important they are.

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Anna

Posted on July 23, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Girls, Laptops, New York, Sexuality, Wishes

In the Hamptons, That’s a Marriage Proposal

Guy from inside Port-A-Potty: Oh, shit, I just dropped my BlackBerry in there!
Friend: Oh, man, what are you gonna do?!
Guy: Well, somebody’s got to stick their hand in there!
Dude waiting in line: I think I’ll use the other one. I don’t want to be the first person to piss on your BlackBerry.

Rock the Farm Benefit
East Hampton, New York

Posted on July 21, 2020
Cell phones, Friends, Guys, New York, Pee, Poop

Friends