Friends

Pretty goth chick: Do you think if I call him up and ask him to come over and watch porn and fuck, he’ll come?
Queer friend: Probably, but only if you call after 10. It’s six — wait until dark.
Pretty goth chick: Yeah, you’re right.

http://overheardinlosangeles.blogspot.com/2007/05/and-try-not-to-terrorize-blind-woman.html

Guy to friend: If one person is about 1.5 meters tall, two people would be three hundred meters.

http://talovich.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html#8210567357282225167

Overheard by: Yugan Dali

Dude #1: I have a really bad headache.
Dude #2: You know what cures that? Sodomy!

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/02/i-think-ill-suffer-migrane-thanks.html

Boy to friend: I'm totally capable of giving birth to a live teddy bear.

High School
Clarksville, Maryland

Teenage girl #1: He hates me.
Teenage girl #2: He doesn’t hate you. Maybe you should just say “hi” to him.
Teenage girl #1: How am I supposed to say “hi”? I have voices in my head saying “I want cheeseburgers”!

Canberra
Australia

Girl to friend: So he was already crying because he found out we weren't Jewish. Then he was like, “But aunt Jill is Jewish! Why aren't we?!” My mom had to explain that Jill's her best friend, not her sister. So then he found out we weren't related to Jacob and everyone. So he cried even harder.
Friend: Wow.
Girl: Yeah, but he was like 10, so he should have just sucked it up.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Tyler

Teen girl to friend: I'm too sexy for my vulva.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Nerdy teen #1: So you just sort of put your hands down her pants and rub up behind her.
Nerdy teen #2 (nodding): Yeah. I know what you mean.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: iloveholidays

Old guy to friend: He got a new girl who works in the sex industry… and you know his fantasy has always been two women. I told him it'd never happen, but apparently it did. His girl has a friend who was willing to play along…

Holland, Michigan

Hot chick to another: You look so good! Guys will be jerking off on you tonight!

Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle