Angry guy: No! We're going to go to the fucking pisser, and then we're going to leave!
(both start towards the bathroom).
Friend: Wait, I don't have to piss, why am I coming with you?
Angry guy: Fuck you, man!
Friend: Seriously, why do you fucking need my help?
Medford, Oregon
Girl #1: Every time I watch Rudolph, it gives me stress.
Girl #2: That show is horrible!
Girl #1: See, those little reindeer, they didn’t know any better, but Dancer was a grown-ass reindeer! He knew better than to treat Rudolph like that, tellin’ his own kid not to play with Rudolph… That’s some straight-up bullshit.
Guy: And why was Rudolph’s nose red if both of his parents’ noses were black?
Girl #2: ‘Cause his mom was a ho.
Girl #1: Y’know, Dancer was probably his mom’s punk-ass baby-daddy. And you know what? Even Santa didn’t know how to act. If I was Rudolph, I would tell Santa, ‘Oh, hell no!’
Girl #2: Oh, hell no!
Girl #1: ‘Santa better get his fat ass up there and guide his own shit, after he be treatin’ me like that! Oh, hell no!’
http://www.overheardinpittsburgh.com/
Girl to friend: Where have you been? I haven't seen you for almost nine months!
Friend: I've been in Mexico.
Girl: Why?
Friend: Think about it…
Westwood, California
Man #1: You know what I’m gonna do as soon as that train comes? I’m gonna go in between the cars and take a whiz!
Man #2: Yo, man, you can’t do that! You’ll get in trouble! When the train comes just sit yourself down with me and we’ll smoke a joint!
Fullerton L platform
Chicago, Illinois
Guy to group of friends: I don't think I could ever do anything like that.
Girl: Oh, is this about the circle jerk?
Los Angeles, California
Pretty hipster to hipster friend with iPhone: Danny! Stop taking pictures of random girls!
Hipster friend with iPhone: I can't help it, I need them for my work…
Elkhart, Indiana
Woman to male friend: I am trying to figure out how long 14 minutes and 6 minutes is in total.
Male friend: 20 minutes.
Woman: Regular math and time math are the same?
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/09/numbers.html
Overheard by: benja
Girl to friend: Well, I guess I could, but my titties would hurt.
Theater Rehearsal
Bradenton, Florida
Overheard by: Hollie Corbitt
