Stoner #1: Yo, what time is it?
Stoner #2: Oh! I know, right?
Roslindale, Massachusetts
Stoner #1: Yo, what time is it?
Stoner #2: Oh! I know, right?
Roslindale, Massachusetts
Guy: Yeah, so Boyd Rice–
Blonde punk: –Your obsession with Boyd Rice is just as bad as my obsession with Richard Simmons.
Guy: Yeah, pretty much.
Wendy’s
Round Rock, Texas
Girl to friend eating yogurt: You know, yogurt makes you shit.
Friend, frightened: Does it, really?
Girl: I dare you to take the Activia challenge.
Friend: Nah! I'm not in the mood to poop today.
Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: i laughed at this
Woman, showing friend around: And this skyline is where I had my first pregnancy test. It was negative.
Ludlow
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Alison
Sober girl, enthusiastically, to friend who just threw up: You look cute!
Drunk friend, equally enthusiastic: I just threw up!
Sober girl, still enthusiastic: I bet you feel cute!
Subway Bathroom
Overheard by: tina
Chatty female college student to friends: So it was sort of like that, except instead of a q-tip, it was a vacuum. There was no scraping at all.
Friend: Wow… that's crazy.
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Teen guy to teen girls: Starbucks is like heaven! Everyone at Starbucks is happy and nice to each other, because they're drinking coffee, and that makes people happy!
Starbucks, Southern Cross Station
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: XPIOTOS
Tiny college girl waiting in line: The cookies are soooooo good!
Tall male friend, confused: The ice cream?
Tiny college girl: The penises!
Tall male friend: Oh!
Tiny college girl: We just didn't let them cool!
Stop & Shop
Manhattan, New York
Guy to friend returning from bathroom: (distraught) But I wanted to be the one to do it with you! I wanted to be the one to do it with you!
Gables Night Club
Inwood West Virginia
Overheard by: joanna
Straight guy: I really need your advice about this girl.
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: No. Her mom set us up on this date…
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: You just suggested that. I mean, I like her but I definitely don’t want to date her, and we’re supposed to hang out this weekend, but I don’t know what to do with her.
Gay guy: Well, just be like: “Hey, do you want to toss a Frisbee in the arboretum?”
Straight guy: And if she says yes, be like: “Okay, do you want to toss my salad in the arboretum?”
Gay guy: Awesome.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: $kank
