If Our Disastrous Trip to Thailand Was Any Indication

Frizzy-haired college girl: Are you seriously asking me to to sell myself so you can hitchhike to Sicily?
Friend #1: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Friend #2: Yeah. Like first of all, no one in Italy would want to pay for you.

UC Davis
Davis, California

Overheard by: Passing Student

Posted on July 28, 2015
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Friends, Geography, Girls, Money, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority types

Well I Can't Help It If Yours Is a Bigger Target

Guy going up escalator to friend: Did you see that? That guy just tried to touch my butt.
Friend: Don't complain, he succeeded in touching mine!

Washington, DC

Posted on July 28, 2015
Ass, Friends, Guys, Sensory experiences, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Second-Best Sex I Ever Had

Woman: Sleeping with him just never feels consensual. It’s like being raped by your brother.
Friend: Yeah, it felt like that for me, too.

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/two-separate-conversations-at-stop-shop.html

Posted on July 26, 2015
Friends, Overheard in the Valley, Sex

I’m Considering Reaching Out to Her With a Fifty Caliber Rifle

Man #1: How’s your wife?
Man #2: How should I know?
Man #1: What do you mean: “How should I know?”? She’s your wife! Don’t you talk to her?
Man #2: Not since she got the restraining order on me.

Huxley, Iowa

Overheard by: Hondo

Posted on July 26, 2015
Crimes, Default, Friends, Guys, Iowa, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

In the Same Way We Fail to Feel Bad for Cher

Coworker, on animal testing: I just can't feel bad for lab rats, cause they're man-made.
Friend: Seriously, dude.

Winter Park, Florida

Overheard by: Cassie

Posted on July 25, 2015
Animals, Coworkers, Feelings, Florida, Friends, Science

In the Sense That They Both Have Fewer Than Six Letters

Middle school boy: They could solve world hunger if they just kept cloning lots of sheep.
Friend: Aren't sheep like, tofu?

Radnor, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 24, 2015
Default, Food, Friends, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Science, Stupidity, Tweens

We're Going to Congress!

Student to friend: Just put the rape stick in the alcohol bag.

American University
Washington, DC

Posted on July 22, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Friends, Students, Violence, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Your Editors Are Still Giggling about “Beaverton”

Little boy holding a dog leash: OK, I’ll be the dog and you be the owner.
Little girl: OK!
Little boy: No, wait, you be the dog and I’ll be the owner.
Little girl: Don’t even *think* about it!

Beaverton, Oregon