Drunk girl screaming: No one here cares about any of the issues. None of you are from here. That just makes me sick, none of you are fucking from here.
Bus driver over PA: Sweetie, unless your name is Pocahontas, you're not from here either.
NJ Transit Bus
Teen boy: Disneyland is the MILF capital of the world!
Vacaville, California
Loud woman on phone: I was at the funeral on Wednesday and Melvin was sitting in the pew behind me. Halfway through the ceremony he leans forward and goes: “We're at the wrong funeral!” So we had to get up and find the right one. When we got there, the hill was so steep the hearse couldn't get up the hill! It was awful!
Train
Aberdeen
Scotland
Woman: He's called “The Anal Man.” His ass can bend in 15 different positions. He's a big hit in Europe. (produces rubber toy)
Los Angeles, California
American tourist #1: What's your background?
Tourist guide: Aboriginal.
American tourist #1: No, as in “where were you born?”
Tourist guide: Here, in Australia.
American tourist #1: But you're black!
Tourist guide: Yes… I'm aboriginal.
American tourist #1: But I thought you guys were all extinct! Are you, like, the last one?
American tourist #2: Jay, shut up. It's idiots like you that make us look stupid. He's messing with you, there are no aboriginals.
Adelaide, Australia
Professor, exasperated: Don't you guys know anything about education in Sweden? Or anything about Sweden at all?
Physical education major: Yeah, that's where we get those Swiss Army knives.
Education Class
Ohio State University
Overheard by: i can't believe these people are going to be teachers…
Seven-year-old boy, stepping off train, to parents: We're in the middle of nowhere!
Train Platform
Maplewood, New Jersey
Overheard by: KBN
Professor, in regards to nationalism in film: Now what makes a film “British”?
Valedictorian: They all speak British?
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Adam
Girl #1: And yeah… She had these stains on her teeth.
Girl #2: Ew! Why… We’re in America.
Boston, Massachusetts
British theater professor: Well, you know Hong Kong used to belong to Britain. (angrily) Everything used to belong to Britain.
Theater Class, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Chanimal
