Squidward Moved to Utah for Religious Reasons

Girl to guy wearing alien-hand gloves: What the hell are those?
Guy: They're my testicles… No! My… My… Test–test… The things that octopuses have!
Girl: Tentacles?
Guy: Yes! Tentacles…

High School
Utah

Overheard by: Weskimo

Posted on April 5, 2022
Animals, Balls, Girls, Guys, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Utah, Words

Sorry, I Temporarily Lost Consciousness When You Said “Tasty Man Snack”

Goth girl getting stitches: When I want a tasty man snack, I have me a PB&J!

Skyridge Hospital ER
Denver, Colorado

Posted on April 2, 2022
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Goths, Offers and requests, Words

Competition for Upper Class Twit Of the Year Heats Up

Skinny ginger guy: Oh, don't over-egg the omelet!
Gorgeous girl: Uh… Omelets are mainly made of egg…?
Skinny ginger guy: Just because you wear glasses and go to university you think you're so smart. Well you're not. Because you're a girl! Nerrrrrrrrr!

Nottingham
England

Overheard by: Concerned_citizen

Posted on March 28, 2022
Comebacks, Education, England, Food, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Skinny people

According to Our Bible –the Josie and the Pussycats Movie

Tween girl #1: Oh my god… You look so orange in that picture!
Tween girl #2: Bitch.
Tween girl #1: No! It’s a good thing! Orange is the new pink!

Switzerland

Posted on March 27, 2022
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Europe, Friends, Girls, Insults, Sensory experiences, Tweens

Does Licking Count?

Girl in grocery store: Do you eat muffins?
Guy: What?
Girl: Do you eat muffins?
Guy: Is that a trick question?

Athens, Georgia

Posted on March 27, 2022
Food, Georgia, Girls, Guys, Questions

Tomorrow's Lessons: What About Bob? and Chasing Amy

Girl #1: Oh, Kill Bill is on this week!
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: I wanna watch that. I think I'd really like it. I really like martial arts films.
(pause)
Girl #1: So, is Bill the name of the guy she wants to kill?
Girl #2, incredulous: Uh-huh.

Perth
Australia

Posted on March 26, 2022
Australia, Girls, Movies, Stupidity, Wishes

…When They Ask Why We Can't Have Lunch with Them?

Girl: So we're telling them genital warts, then?

Devon
England

Posted on March 21, 2022
England, Girls, Questions, STDs

…That's a Terrible Marketing Slogan.

Gay man: Listen, we've all shat, we've all farted, we've all touched ourselves, and we've all used a dildo.
Girls: Ummm… no.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on March 19, 2022
Burping & farting, Girls, Masturbation, Pennsylvania, Poop, Queers, Toys

One Day I'll Graduate to a Shot Of Tequila and a Strip Of Duct Tape

California blonde: Ohmigod, I wonder what their waxing is like in France?
California brunette: I dunno… I once waxed it all off, though.
California blonde: Really? How? I've only waxed my bikini line.
California brunette: I'd just had three glasses of wine and one of those waxing pots, because my dad's a hairdresser.

Paris
France

Overheard by: Freedom Waxing!

Posted on March 16, 2022
Drinking & drunks, France, Girls, Hair

Which Was “No Upper-Body Strength”

Female student #1: Eeew, she has a rolling backpack, you know what that means…
Female student #2: Whore?
Female student #1: Absolutely not what I was going to say.

San Francisco, California

Posted on March 14, 2022
Compare and contrast, Fashion, Girls, Insults, Questions, Students, Words