Girls

Girl to waitress: So the baby's a cute little bugger. They don't know who he looks like yet.

Olive Garden
Davenport, Iowa

Overheard by:

Girl, watching painting: That's a girl, she's got those things. (points to nipples)
Boy: It's a boy! Grown-up boys have those, too. I've seen them.
Girl: It's a girl!
Boy: No, boys have them too; they just don't do as much. The girls' milk, the boys' don't.

Art Gallery
Portland, Oregon

Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be given to goodwill!

Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado

Girl #1: Yeah, I hate when people talk about babies like they grow in your stomach. They're in your uterus!
Girl #2: Yeah, it's so dumb. Like, that's not even possible unless you swallowed a penis…or ate a baby.

Connecticut

Guy, telling girl how to inspect screws in a table: Reach up, right up in there…
Girl: Right here?
Guy: Yeah, can you feel it?
Girl: Uh-huh…
Guy: Okay, now can you play around with it with your finger?
Girl: Uh-huh…
Guy, after long pause: You know, if anyone overheard this conversation, it would sound pretty bad.

Security Park
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Cool Breeze

Hobo: Hey baby, you ever had the back a yo' knee fucked?
Girl in line at the show: Once…it was okay, I guess.
Hobo: Shitdamn girl, you're a freak!

Ybor
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Gotta try that

Tall girl: Hurry up, I really have to pee.
Short girl in heels: Yeah, well, I'm about to hemorrhage through my skirt, so I win.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Drunk girl in painful-looking heels to tour group of incoming freshmen: This is your future!

Michigan State University

Girl #1: I'd totally tap your grandpa!
Girl #2: Thanks?
Girl #1: You're welcome!

Denver, Colorado

Tall, pale, blonde girl: And Joe and I realized that we are both ridiculously tall, blonde and blue-eyed. So Aryan. We're basically Hitler's wet dream.

Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Celessa