Chubby goth girl (gasping): Oh, shit! (spills her coffee)
Skinny punk chick: Did you burn yourself?
Chubby goth girl: No, but I bet my snatch smells like chocolate now.
Skinny punk chick: That's sexy.
Starbucks
Lakeport, California
Chubby goth girl (gasping): Oh, shit! (spills her coffee)
Skinny punk chick: Did you burn yourself?
Chubby goth girl: No, but I bet my snatch smells like chocolate now.
Skinny punk chick: That's sexy.
Starbucks
Lakeport, California
Plain Jane: Finish eating, so we can go outside!
Goth girl: Quit bossing me around! I just got out of line five minutes ago; it's not my fault that it's 12:45 and I've only eaten half of my lunch!
Popular boy to goth girl: I don't think I've ever heard you speak before.
School Cafeteria
El Paso, Texas
Goth girl: My vagina’s sweating.
Goth boy: They really do that? I thought it was a myth. Man, I’m glad I don’t have one of those.
Congress Avenue and Barton Springs Road
Austin, Texas
Artsy emo: It was like lesbian Fight Club! First Leema liked Holly, then she liked Tracy, who liked Nicola, who also liked Holly. So Nicola and Leema got in a fist fight and in the end, Tracy and Holly had sex in the woodshop classroom!
Toronto
Canadia
Goth girl on cell: His dick is huge! I came so hard I was crying! (notices several people looking at her and laughing) Do you fucking mind? This is a private conversation!
Red Line Train
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Joe
Tall goth girl to rotund, geeky friend: She’s a fat black goth! Kinda like if you, me, and Bill Cosby joined forces.
Denver, Colorado
Geeky girl: You know, I’ve still got my ex-boyfriend’s mom’s library card.
Goth friend: …We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.
Aurora, Colorado
Skinny white guy: Yep.
Goth girl: No way.
Skinny white guy: Yep.
Goth girl: No way. Too royal.
Skinny white guy: I’m serious.
Goth girl: No way. Princess Di was way too perfect to be giving someone head while they’re driving.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Nick K.
