Red-headed woman: I wish they’d take this place and just plunk it down in New York so I could shove people.
Red-headed guy: Word!
National Museum of Natural History
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nujju
Red-headed woman: I wish they’d take this place and just plunk it down in New York so I could shove people.
Red-headed guy: Word!
National Museum of Natural History
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nujju
Guy to friend, matter-of-factly: You know he’s just teaching there for the kielbasa.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Boy to hot girl: Hey, how's it going?
Hot girl, in French: I'm speaking in French so that you won't know what I'm talking about and will think that I can't speak English.
Boy, in French: Oh really? I know French too!
Bus
New York City, New York
60-something man, watching obese woman board bus, loudly: So fat!
30-something woman, quietly: Yeah, sometimes it might be genetics or something. Not just cured by exercise, you know?
60-something man, loudly: I try to avoid getting too close to people who are that fat. I'm scared they'll just explode and innards will get all over me!
30-something woman: (disgusted look)
London
Canadia
Overheard by: On the bus
Dude: You fail to see that the rhinoceros is not pleased that you've clogged the bathtub drain with jam and celery. She's quite angry with you. I mean, if you just shit out a canary, it's not going to want to play tonsil hockey.
Friend: How hard would it be to get you involuntarily committed to a mental institution?
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Mormon guy: Some of my fondest childhood memories are of my dad beating the shit out of people.
Salt Lake City Airport
Utah
Overheard by: PartyByNight
20-something guy on phone: Then I went to McDonald's and they said that I'm too old. I'm not too old! I can go to Chuck E. Cheese if I want! I'm not too old. Just so long as I can have fun. I'm not too old…
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: Just minding my own business as usual.
Film buff: What I want is to wake up next to a girl who I can have a great conversation with — someone I really want to talk to. And if I woke up next to Toshiro Mifune, that’d be interesting.
Northcote
Australia
Dude to chick: It's the first day of class–let's get wasted! (both hi five)
Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Suit #1: Yeah mate, it was fucking wild…
Suit #2: Oh yeah?
Suit #1: Yeah, took her back to mine. She's a skank. I swear there were spiders crawling out of her vag.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
