Hugging Is a Chick Thing, Dude

Dude #1, watching TV: That’s gross, man… He’s hugging a dead person.
Dude #2: It’s his brother man. What if your mom just died… Wouldn’t you hug her?
Dude #1: Well yeah. I guess I would…
Dude #2: Ewwwww.

Lake View Terrace, California

Posted on July 5, 2015
California, Death & dying, Family, Family ties, Friends, Guys, Questions

Canadian Ice Cream Is Not for the Faint of Heart

Guy: So yeah, our ice cream is good. It’s not made out of cat.

Ontario
Canadia

Posted on July 4, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Food, Guys, Pride

And He Prefers to Make Love, Not War.

Dude to chick: William Howard Taft. That's what I call my penis. Because he is large and in charge. And he got stuck in a bathtub.

High School Law Class
New York

Overheard by: Adrienne

Posted on July 4, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Names, New York, Penis, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

…After You Put Your Legs Up on Your Desk, Ma'am.

Male lab instructor: So, really, it's totally unnatural for a human baby to pass through such a small birth canal when their heads are so big. But it's also unnatural for us to give birth laying down. We should stand. Then the canal is more open, and gravity does most of the work. We are fighting nature. Now, why am I talking about pregnancy? I lost my train of thought.

Anthropology Class
Kent State University, Ohio

Posted on July 4, 2015
Body parts, Class, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Guys, Ohio, Pregnancy, Questions

If Nothing Else, Straight Dudes Know How to Potty.

Angry guy: No! We're going to go to the fucking pisser, and then we're going to leave!
(both start towards the bathroom).
Friend: Wait, I don't have to piss, why am I coming with you?
Angry guy: Fuck you, man!
Friend: Seriously, why do you fucking need my help?

Medford, Oregon

Posted on July 3, 2015
Default, Friends, Guys, Offers and requests, Oregon, Pee, Questions, Weirdness

Last Time I Use Flammable Lube

Man on phone: So I took my dick out of her ass and started smoking a cigarette… What else was I supposed to do?

Subway
New York City, New York

Posted on July 3, 2015
Backdoor, Default, Guys, New York, On the phone, Penis, Questions, Smoking, Train, Weirdness

I Have Nude Pictures in Catalogs.

Man: She said that? She has nude pictures on the internet! How can you compare me to her?

Emergency Room
Westchester, New York

Posted on July 3, 2015
Compare and contrast, Guys, Internet, New York, Porn, Questions

Probably the Funniest Thing Ever Uttered in a Statistics Class

Indian professor with thick accent: Okay class. If I flip this coin 50 times, what is the probability that I get head?
Dude in the back: Man, I could flip a coin 100 times and I'm still not gettin' head.
(class bursts into hysterical laughter)
Indian professor: What? What did I say?

Statistics Class, George Washington University
Washington, DC

Posted on July 2, 2015
BJs, Class, Default, Education, Guys, Questions, Students, Teachers, Washington, DC

God Decides to Test Out a More Adorable Grim Reaper

Little boy, excitedly: Everybody's dying these days!

Hooksett, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Evee

Posted on July 2, 2015
Death & dying, Default, Guys, Kids, New Hampshire, Words

Otherwise the Natural Process Of Erosion Will Take Care Of It

Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their bagel in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom, without looking up: It's a donut.
Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their donut in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom: It's still wrapped, if anyone wants it.

Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 2, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Food, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Students, Words

Guys