Guy to girl: I know these people out in Colorado, and they're like totally brother and sister, and they're married! I mean, they had to sign something saying they'd never have children, but they're totally married!
Nightclub Bathroom
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: RW
Dude #1: Is that him? I can’t tell from here.
Dude #2: That’s him. I can tell because he looks like a walrus.
Beloit, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Coo-coo-ca-choo
Guy trying to impress girl: So then I mastered a few languages, and after that it was pretty easy to get hired.
Girl: Oh wow! What languages?
Guy: C++.
Yellow Line Train
Washington, DC
Guy #1: Dude, I wonder how Orville Redenbacher is still in all those commercials when he's been dead for, like, a bazillion years?
Guy #2: Maybe he's a zombie.
Guy #1: Or a robot.
Guy #3: Or a zombie robot.
Guy #1: Seriously, dude. I think you've been reading too much sci-fi.
Bellingham, Washington
Dude #1: I heard they were trying to get The Beach Boys for that motorcycle rally.
Dude #2: Man, that really says a lot about who is riding motorcycles these days. And it’s not good.
Lone Star Floathouse & Grill
New Braunfels, Texas
Overheard by: D2
Dude #1: Hey man, wanna go get some things pregnant?
Dude #2: Um. What? What kind of things?
Dude #1: Just stuff. Whatever we find.
http://www.overheardatumbc.com
Pudgy guy flailing at younger girl: It’s not cute pudge, it’s a manly beer gut!
Stewartstown, Pennsylvania
Skinny emo guy to emo girl: The only way I'm going to see him naked is if I picture it in my head. Oh, god damn it! I just saw it!
Missouri State University
Overheard by: Matt
Guy: Dude, do you remember when our driver's ed teacher taught us how to do donuts?
Pinkerton Academy
Derry, New Hampshire
Overheard by: kr142616
Girl: Woah, when did you get here?
Boy: Everywhere.
Girl: I asked when.
Boy: Oh. Uh. All the time.
Spokane, Washington
