Kids

Professor: So my kid walked in on us last night…
Student in class: Well, you gave them the talk, why not say you were wrestling or something?
Professor: Well, I have no way to explain the handcuffs.

Penn State
Altoona, Pennsylvania

Seven-year-old girl: Daddy, do you know what stinks ?
Dad: No, what?
Seven-year-old girl: Dog farts.
Dad: Let's not talk about that here.

TJ Maxx
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: A.Taylor

Little boy leaving Epcot: Well, that was unpleasant.

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Mom, leaving dressing room with 7-year-old daughter: So you can see the teacher's boobies through her shirt? Hmm, I wonder how she'd react if she knew!
Daughter: Mommy, don't tell her I said that!

Target
Woodinville, Washington

Overheard by: Glad I wore a bra

Thug #1: So then we went down to that school, and Steve threw some rocks at the retarded kids.
Thug #2: Wait, didn't you do that last week?
Thug #1: Yeah, that's Steve's new thing.

Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: JChill

Young boy: Where's daddy?
Mother: He's at home. Hypothetically he's starting dinner right now.
Slightly older boy: That's unlikely.

Bus
Bozeman, Montana

Hausfrau dragging small son into hall of prehistory: Now remember, we don't believe in evolution!

Smithsonian Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: In the right museum

Disappointed man to child on shoulders: Cranes aren't that great.

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Four-year-old boy holding 20-something girl's hand: I've got jungle fever! I've got jungle fever!

Jungle Cruise Line
Walt Disney World, Florida

Dad to little girl: I'm going to feed you to a puppy.
Little girl: Dad! I don't want to eat a puppy.
Dad: I'm not going to feed you a puppy, I'm going to feed you to a puppy.
Little girl: Oh, that's okay, I like puppies.

Brunswick
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Claire