Some Guys Prefer to Be Firmly Held

Little kid (skipping and yelling): Tighty whitey man! Tighty whitey man!

Mount Vernon Farmers' Market
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: livin'

Posted on September 11, 2008
Default, Kids, Maryland, Race, Stores, Words

More Evidence That Taking Drugs Increases Your Risk of Summer School

Random high school kid (during summer school): Shoes are like hats for your feet!

Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology
Alexandria, Virginia

Posted on September 6, 2008
Body parts, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Kids, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Virginia

Mini-Meanie, We'd Call Him

Freakishly tall chick: Could you imagine a primordial dwarf in my family? The kid would kill me as soon as they could wield a weapon of some kind, because I'd laugh at them so much.
Friend: Or he'd turn the hatred outwards, and be a serial killer. Oh man, could you imagine, a primordial dwarf serial killer?
Freakishly tall chick: That would be awesome.

Aurora, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on September 5, 2008
Colorado, Crimes, Default, Friends, Girls, Kids, Questions, Weirdness

It's an Essential Part of Your Education

(two 6th-grade boys are sitting on the bus playing with their phones)
Boy #1: Hey, you know “saxophone” sounds a lot like “sexy-phone”!
Boy #2: Haha! Then for short you could call it “the sex”!
Boy #1: (laughs)
Boy #2: It would be like, “Hey, do you know how to play the sex?”
Boy #1: Heh-heh… Yeah, its a very complicated one.
Boy #2: Ew… That's gross.
Boy #1: Yeah, you know where you learn how to do it?
Boy #2: Where?
Boy #1: In college.
Boy #2: No way! I thought we learned everything in 5th grade.
Boy #1: Yeah…but I mean this time they tell you where to stick it in.
Boy #2: Ohhh…

School Bus
Maryland

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on September 4, 2008
Bus, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Kids, Maryland, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Students, Words

Forgot I Glued It to My Palm for Convenience

Little girl walking behind mom: Mom, did you hit me in the head with your phone!
Mom: No, I didn't, I don't even have my phone out! (looks down at hand) Oh, yes I do. Did it hurt?

Eskimo Joe's
Stillwater, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Cameron

Posted on September 2, 2008
Cell phones, Default, Kids, Moms, Oklahoma, Parenting, Questions

Why Arsenal Is Losing the Battle for Hearts and Minds

Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Oi, is that a Manchester United shirt?
Eight-year-old Japanese boy: Herro.
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Hello, you cunt.

Japan

Posted on August 31, 2008
Asia, Asians, Clothes, Default, Foreigners, Gym rats, Insults, Kids, Language barrier, Questions

Can You Wait Til I Drop You Off at Mommy's?

Father: Look, there's a potty over there!
Five-year-old daughter: No, I don't wanna go in the porta-potty!
Father: Okay, where are you gonna go then?
Five-year-old daughter: In my pants!
Father: Alright!

SUNY
Purchase, New York