Guy about to buy beer: ID? ID? I'm 56-motherfucking-years-old! I don't need no ID! (reaches into cart and pulls out items) Here's my damn ID! I'm buying hemorrhoid cream and Fixodent!
Winn Dixie
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: betsy
Guy about to buy beer: ID? ID? I'm 56-motherfucking-years-old! I don't need no ID! (reaches into cart and pulls out items) Here's my damn ID! I'm buying hemorrhoid cream and Fixodent!
Winn Dixie
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: betsy
Suit on the Taipei subway: After I went home that day, I kept thinking about hemorrhoids.
http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html#8096816716191692834
Overheard by: Yugan
Dad to howling toddler: Stop it! Suck it up! You don’t hear anyone else crying, do you?
United flight descending into O’Hare
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Man #1: How you been?
Man #2: Pretty good.
Man #1: How's your wife?
Man #2: Aggravating.
Church
Thibodaux, Louisiana
Woman: I guess it depends on the kind of tumor. A baby's kind of like a tumor, drains your body of all nutrients. It's like having an alien parasite.
UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Akuaku
Old broad #1: Well, you heard that they froze his semen, right?
Old broad #2, gasping: Really?
Old broad #1: Of course! I mean, Susan* would love to have more children with Thomas*, you know, but on account of the cancer, it just makes things a little difficult.
Old broad #2: That's so sweet…
Salon
Madison, Wisconsin
80-year-old grandmother walking feebly down the stairs: I'm not drunk; I'm handicapped.
Daughter assisting her: She's drunk and handicapped.
80-year-old grandmother: Okay. That's true… I just didn't want to bring my cane.
Turner Field, Braves Game
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Drunk, but Not Handicapped
