Old broad #1: Well, you heard that they froze his semen, right?
Old broad #2, gasping: Really?
Old broad #1: Of course! I mean, Susan* would love to have more children with Thomas*, you know, but on account of the cancer, it just makes things a little difficult.
Old broad #2: That's so sweet…
Salon
Madison, Wisconsin
80-year-old grandmother walking feebly down the stairs: I'm not drunk; I'm handicapped.
Daughter assisting her: She's drunk and handicapped.
80-year-old grandmother: Okay. That's true… I just didn't want to bring my cane.
Turner Field, Braves Game
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Drunk, but Not Handicapped
Nursing lab instructor: You don't go down when you're suctioning.
College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Yoshi
Girl #1: Corey's* got a treatment scheduled for Monday.
Girl #2: What's wrong with him?
Guy: Nothing.
Girl #1: He's got cancer.
Guy: He's fine. People get cancer all the time.
Nicholls State University
Thibodaux, Louisiana
Teacher: Okay. Quick review: which Greek gods did we cover on Friday?
Student, seriously: Hermaphrodite? Herpes? Asbestos?
High School
Michigan
Woman on street: The only bad thing I've ever said to Michael is that he should go and die of a heart attack.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
Studious student: You know she would tell her students that she's far too sick to make it out to campus, and then curl up in a ball on her couch with a cup of tea so she can watch the rain fall and weep.
Virginia Commonwealth University
Older woman #1: I really need to get my flu shot this week.
Older woman #2: I got mine last week.
Older woman #3: Ya'll better watch out getting those flu shots, haven't you heard that vaccines cause autism?
Birmingham, Alabama
Guy #1: Have you even seen Sophie's choice?
Guy #2: Yeah. Isn't the choice like, diabetes or a piano?
Guy #1: What?
University of Florida
Overheard by: Nick
